Skinema

Lonnie's Poop Shoot

Well, seems I missed a week or two somehow. I didn’t really notice but my email was ringing off the hook from headquarters demanding my next slice of Pullitizimo. Full story

Skinema

Live in My Secrets

I'm working on a new VBS show called Sexy Slumber Party in which I have sexy slumber parties with naked porn stars and we have popcorn and girl talk until they start to cry. Full story

Skinema

Poopy

I've contracted some sort of AIDS as a result of bad sausage. Usually sausage doesn’t agree with me but it has never tried to kill me before. Full story

Skinema

Airplane! - Is the Greatest Movie of All Time

The day before I flew to LA last month an airplane went down in the Hudson River as I was working at our NJ Skateshop in Hoboken, NJ. I ran over and watched the rescue efforts. I wanted to vomit. I hate flying and it made me want to cancel my LA trip. Full story

Skinema

You Should Meet Lonnie (Update: Now With Videos)

You should meet Lonnie, my wife's retarded uncle (literally). He is the absolute best dude on the planet. He looks like Andre the Giant, and although I've never met Andre I'd wager Lonnie's brut strength rivals that of the Giant. Full story

Skinema

The Nieratkos Go To LA

Hello, my name is Chris Nieratko. You might know me from such films as Skinema: Love on the Rocks or My Wife’s Mouth Will Not Get Pregnant. Or you may not. Full story

Skinema

Discovering Alexis Texas

A year or two ago, Vice sent me around the country to promote my book, Skinema, and one of the stops was in Austin, Texas, at the largest bookstore in the state. Full story

The VICE Guide to Sex

Icelandic Elf Sex

Icelanders have been doing elves in secret for centuries, but the subject’s strictly verboten for outsiders. Thanks to Hallgerdur, we’re breaking the silence. Full story

Skinema

Gapeman

Fuck. Google this DVD and look at the back cover. You can't handle the back cover! It made me want to vomit into my laptop. Dead center there is a photo of what my friends affectionately refer to as a “pink sock.” Full story

The VICE Guide to Sex

Imbalu: Circumcision Party

We take a look at Imbalu, the (sort of) ancient Ugandan practice of mass teenage circumcision.

Les Krims

These manipulated Polaroids were originally published in the 1975 book, Fictcryptokrimsographs: A Book-Work by Les Krims (Humpy Press). Full story

Skinema

Hog-O-Ween Recap

Chris Nieratko's uncle-in-law Lonnie may be the hardest HOG*-afflicted partier we know. At this year's Halloween party at the local Elks Lodge he was both the bestly-costumed participant in the parade and the last man standing on the dancefloor. Full story

The VICE Guide to Sex

Japanese Senior Porn

His name is Shigeo Tokuda and he is a 74-year-old porn performer. Full story

Skinema

This Ain't the Munsters XXX

I don't like scary movies--they scare me. I was seeing a therapist once for it but it all seemed like a big waste of time. I felt like he wasn't listening to me. He was always texting. Full story