• Before Andruw Jones Was Fat, He Was Good at Baseball

    Not to get all James Murphy on you or anything, but I was there. I was there, in 1996, at the first World Series that Andruw Jones ever played in. I told him, “Adjust your stance. You’ll never even tip it away.”

  • Kill the Engine

    Guided Tours of the Skate Spots in My Neighborhood

    As a freelancer, I spend a great deal of time scheming on ways to bring in more money to my household. One idea I had recently was to start giving guided tours of the skate spots in my neighborhood. Kids are always looking for new skate spots, right?

  • Wide World of Balls

    Statue of Limitations

    Joe Paterno's statue was taken down, Jeremy Lin busted out of New York, and some baseball dude has a fake name.

  • Clyde's Corner: The Ten Worst Tricks in Skateboarding Part Two

    Since I know exactly what makes you lil’ crybabies cry I’ve decided to bring back one of my most famous articles to date. If you do any of these tricks you’re not as cool as me. If anything said in this article offends you, it’s pretty safe to assume you need a hug.

  • Despite What Geeks Think the Tampa Bay Rays Aren't that Great At Anything

    Once a laughable expansion team with obnoxious uniforms, the Tampa Bay Rays have revamped their franchise into a competitive and savvy press darling but despite being heralded as the smartest franchise in baseball, no one but geeks really fucking care.

  • Jeremy Lin Is Not Greedy, You're Just Stupid

    The reactionary wasteland that is New York talk radio is echoing the sentiment that Lin is ungrateful for the opportunities the Knicks gave him. That is bullshit. The Harvard grad played the Knicks at their own game. And Lin, like most athletes, deserves every buck he’s getting…

  • One-Team Athletes Make Me Feel All Warm and Fuzzy

    Derek Jeter clocking a home run for his 3,000th hit, every one as a Yankee, Peyton Manning finally getting over the championship hump in his ninth season with Indianapolis—no great championships, retirement speeches, or controversies would exist without our willingness to treat t…

  • Instant Offence - Choc's Big Trip

    Welcome to part two of James and Alex's blog about fucking sports.

  • Fedor Emelianenko Made Me Love MMA

    Before I saw Fedor Emelianenko fight, I thought mixed martial arts was a debased and debauched distraction for frat boys and thugs. After, my life was completely rearranged. I started filling my time with sparring sessions and endless hours watching UFC fights.

  • Wide World of Balls - Penn State of Abuse

    The biggest story of the week was the Freeh report, which are the findings written by some dude from the FBI, who did it at the behest of the Penn State board of trustees. The report found that Joe Paterno, the coach with the glasses, had an idea of what was going on and that th

  • Athletes Raping Everybody Out Here

    The rapes are not caused by closeted gay men, but the hyper-masculine vibe in the sports world. A coming-out party in sports would likely reduce the amount of sexually repressed athletes who feel the need to hurt women to show off their manhood. Maybe start with a national campai…

  • The Mercy Rule

    The Worst Idea in Sports

    Most television networks would not take time out of their own broadcasting schedules to air formal-dress jerk-off awards, for obvious reasons. But if the network in question was an all-sports network trying to figure out what to do with a weekday night during the Major League Bas…

  • Epicly Later'd

    Eric Koston - Part 1

    Here it is, folks, the "Epicly Later'd" series on the man considered to be the greatest street skater of the modern era. Eric Koston is the standard by which all street skaters are judged.

  • Being a Professional Dumbass on Twitter Is Easy

    If you write enough speculative bullshit about sports some of it will probably be right.