There's a saying that goes something like this: What do you usually hear just before somebody dies in the South? "Hey, hold my beer."
In New York City, boxing has gone the way of the Italian mafia, the Times Square porno theater, and the checkered cab.
For this week's serving of balls, we've got NHL playoffs, Wildcat basketball, and Opening Day in baseball.
Here's a conversation I had with someone who doesn't exist that will make you realize you must watch soccer this weekend.
Getting outraged about Bobby Petrino is easy, and kind of fun.
Hoser hardcore punk Jonah Falco and advanced sports statistics nerd Sam Page go head-to-head in a playoff picking battle.
A small sampling of the style of photos that inspired the people at VICE to ask Patrick to make a show out of his blog, Epicly Later'd.
We got the drummer from Fucked Up to square off against a hockey blogger from Nashville.
Tevez is a hard-worn soccer player, who seemingly sleeps in the sun and eats chunks of steel for dinner.
Ozzie Guillen ran his mouth and got in trouble again. He doesn't seem too upset about it.
Tim Tebow drew 15,000 people when he spoke at a Texas church on Easter Sunday. There is no word yet on whether he turned water into wine.
Soon, not only will opposing teams have to fear for their lives, crime will be eradicated in Seattle by the RoboSeahawks.
Still not sure if you're a fan or a non-fan? Here are some questions you may have about baseball, and some answers that will help you figure out whether America's favorite pastime is for you.
Jake Phelps reminds me of the editor of the Daily Planet in Spider-Man. He just sits there and yells at people all day.
Are these acquisitions worth it or are owners just really bad with money when it comes to baseball?
I'd rather watch Mullen skate in a crappy parking lot for three hours than some branded event, where every dude looks like a Nascar racer.
Look, we've got this hairless cat and these items representing mascots of the final remaining teams. What else are we supposed to do with them?
The internet has viciously mocked the Miami Marlins half-billion dollar brand-new stadium. We interviewed Greg Sherlock, its designer.
I'm done apologizing for playing fantasy baseball.
This episode really embodies what this show is all about.
Despite all the yapping, Monday's failure to qualify is not a referendum on US Soccer but it's not totally meaningless, either.
Balls are on the tip of everyone's tongue this week as March Madness widdles down to the final four and Tim Tebow becomes a Jet.
Instead of posting a column last week about SXSW, I thought I'd wait for the dust to settle, and then sneak back in and blow everybody away with my mind-blowing all inclusive coverage.
Technically, he was dead for over an hour. It's the kind of thing that makes your own heart scream through your chest.