The tension has killed itself and waits to rise again.
Inviting a guy named "The Brawler" to your party is never a good idea.
Sam Taylor's disgusting neon blobs are taking over the world.
Are they for eating or loosening up your butthole? Our interns are going to get to the bottom of this eternal debate.
Society is cruel when you're not an able-bodied, middle-class Aryan.
Our prison correspondent wrote these poems. In the tradition of John Donne and R. Kelly, they are mainly about fucking.
This week Nieratko went to a dinosaur exhibit to see dinosaurs, because that what you'd expect to see. Instead, he saw a stuffed bear.
Hi, there! Remember me? I'm the guy who wrote that thing last May about my literary journal, "The Milan Review."
We took some drugs and hung out with a bunch of bitches at Madison Square Garden.
My favorite cure is a box of wine.
Shit, I'm stressed out. This is probably the most stressed I've ever been. And stress is a constant in my life, but usually there's some sort of break.
We've all experienced that thing where we're not sure if a guy really likes us or is just trying to sell us bottled water on the highway.
Adults have been running things for forever, and look at what a good job we've done with ending war, domestic violence, and world humorlessness. Why not give kids a have at it?
Shit. But when I say it, it sounds more like, "sheeeiit!"
110-pound, body painted, heavily tranquilized cat (eyes superglued open, paws superglued to handle) water skiing to promote a Pokémon brand energy-drink.
In honor of Valentine's Day and because this is the FINAL KRUSH KORNER ever, I am going to pay tribute to the biggest boner-giver I can think of - my girlfriend, Lola Gyno.
Am I so very different from a man dressed as a Nine-Tailed Demon Fox from "Naruto?"
He reached into the closet and laid a wig head with a prosthetic headpiece, complete with the facial hair, in front of me.
Michael Pinsky's latest public artwork uses heavenly halos on monuments in London to indicate how deep underwater your dead ass will be in a 1000 years.
CPAC is sort of like Woodstock for white people in suits who don't like the idea of giving money or food to poor people.
I will be going out with my best friend Kate, and we will be eating instead of fucking.
You goddamn vultures.
On to three weird flower sellers and one monk.
In the bucolic pastures of Hazerswoude-Dorp, Holland, nestled in verdant fields of ruminating Holsteins, lazy windmills, and pert tulips, lies a quaint Dutch farm that functions as the world's largest psilocybin-containing-truffle factory.