Probably not, but this is what will happen when she is.
Forget about your shitty job and live vicariously through Santiago on Sunday.
With more amateurish porn, you get the added bonus of seeing how these people live, terrible taste and all. Let's analyze.
You'd be hard pressed to find anyone more dedicated to the craft of tequila making than a Jimador.
Dating just isn't what it's cracked up to be. I'm like a little minnow swimming in a pool full of greedy sharks.
People are understandably upset after video emerged of what appears to be U.S. Marines urinating on Afghan corpses. If they're surprised, however, they need to pick up a history book.
I am sick of fashion designers ripping off fetishes, so I reversed the process, spoke to various fetishists, and put together an outfit made up of their combined perversions.
I was made aware of the term by another welder after I first began depreciating my body, hunched over shooting fire into the crevices of emission systems for all your ugly trucks.
Identical twins always attract a peculiar type of attention, but these gals were walking mirrors. Their uniformity was uncanny.
Here are my thoughts on some of the books I've had around forever and still haven't fucked with.
Yesterday's "Slate" article asking whether masturbation is an inmate's god-given right was bonerably intriguing, but it lacked the perspective of someone who's actually jerked it in a cell.
Our show's second season debuts on Sunday night. Oh, you don't like it? It's not your show? Are you allergic to solid one-liners and low-lit nakedness and pal-melodramatics? You are? Anyway, call me. Let's talk about it after it's over.
Death is from Yesno. It's right next to Fresno.
Try setting your relationship status to "It's Dumplicated."
Bombing a Papa John's Pizza franchise to get all of their customers sounds like a good idea if you're from Florida, the cerebral palsy-ravaged appendage of the United States.
Gollum staring at his "stash," which he has built up from nothing by working minimum wage for 18 months at Taco Bell.
A conversation with the filmmakers behind "Paradise Lost: Purgatory," the final chapter in a trilogy about the West Memphis Three.
A freakout is when you drastically misjudge reality and then you drastically lose your shit. You wanted to do one thing but you did something else and it was bad.
Mark Wahlberg has a new movie coming out. I can't remember what it's called and have no idea what it's about, but I'm pretty certain I will go to see it simply because I like his face or something.
My name is Sara Benincasa. I love the heck out of the Grand Old Party, which people call the "GOP" (pronounced "gee-oh-pee"). You could say I love it so much, I have ELEPHANTiasis--of the heart! LOLOL!
I get these weird vibes that Rihanna isn't fully mentally capable. Why else would she spend 11 percent of her new music video with her hand on her vag?
I'm doing this column with tarot card interviews, and I just barely know the meanings of the cards. Carrie's reading was really intense. I'm pretty sure she wants everyone to fuck the fuck off.
Crap has already declared war, and it's winning. Behold just a few of the innumerable examples of how shit can kill.
Science says that every time you do something there's a ripple of after-effect that goes on into infinity forever.