Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos Have Completely Lost It on Twitter

Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, the number one and number two most wealthy humans on the planet, have had a hell of a 24 hours online. 

Bezos, the Amazon founder whose net worth is around $200 billion, implied that he would personally throw actor Leonardo DiCaprio off a cliff in a tweet. He was responding to a video from the LACMA Art+Film Gala where Bezos’ girlfriend Lauren Sanchez (the “alive girl”) is talking attentively to DiCaprio with Bezos shuffling his feet awkwardly next to them.

“Leo, come over here, I want to show you something…” Bezos tweeted, with a photo of him leaning on a sign that says “DANGER! STEEP CLIFF. FATAL DROP.” Is he planning to Spartan kick DiCaprio off a cliff with his size 12 feet for talking to his girlfriend? Could be!

Meanwhile, Musk, whose net worth is $300 billion, spent Sunday diaped up about potentially having to pay taxes, and speculating about the O-faces of a sitting U.S. senator who suggested he should pay taxes.

Musk changed his Twitter screen name to Lorde Edge and his location to Tröllheim.

No one can say but the man himself why Musk does the things he does, but people can speculate. Founder of Dogecoin Billy Markus (who goes by Shibetoshi Nakamoto) tweeted that Lorde Edge is an anagram for “elder doge,” something that is both true and very stupid. 

Tröllheim brings to mind the underworld of Norse mythology, Helheim, which is guarded by a Helhound. Yes, a big dog. In February, Musk single-handedly sent the meme coin skyrocketing after tweeting “Dogecoin is the people’s crypto,” and crashed it just as fast in May by calling it a hustle on Saturday Night Live. He’s since been trying to backpedal that moment by supporting Doge anytime it comes up, and talking about how his production line employees at SpaceX and Tesla—whose union-forming attempts he tried to bust—own Doge.  

Or maybe he’s just riding the high of sexually harassing a senator the night before: Ron Wyden tweeted about the Billionaires Income Tax plan, suggesting that Musk should pay more taxes than the rest of us, and Musk retorted with the eloquent response: “Why does ur pp look like u just came?,” referring to Wyden’s “profile pic,” or, maybe, his pp.

This capped off a relatively chaotic day, even for Musk, where he started a Twitter poll asking if he should sell 10 percent of his Tesla stock so he would realize some of his gains, which would hit him with a tax bill. Users voted that, yes, he should do this. Tesla stock is down $32 so far today.

Bezos, meanwhile, just bought a $78 million plot of land in Maui with his own private beach while his employees fight for fair pay and safe working conditions. Musk is a new father and also, newly single. Both of these men have better shit to do but are logged on and exhibiting extreme Divorced Dad energy. Personally, if I were very wealthy, I would simply log off forever, but maybe that’s why I’ll never be very wealthy.