We don’t have many rules in this house, but we do believe two things: Tinned seafood is an acceptable sacrament, and our body is a ~*temple*~ that deserves only the best sexual wellness products. We have buckets upon buckets of cult-fave clitoral vibrators that know how to blast our hoo-ha to mind-blowing orgasms, from suction vibes such as the Satisfyer Pro 2 to extraterrestrial-ass antennae toys. But the latest TikTok-viral trend in sexual wellness toys is so different—so deceptively simple—that it stopped our horny fingers right in their tracks.
Ladies and lizards, meet the WaterSlyde:
So… What are we looking at here? Think of this setup as an elevated, fully grown iteration of the way you used to masturbate way back in the day when Dinosaurs was still on TV (RIP), and humping pillows and awkwardly positioning your vulva under the bathtub’s faucet was the gateway to Orgasm Town. Times have changed, jabroni! There are entire categories of sex toys and vibrators for humping and grinding, and the WaterSlyde is the first sexual faucet accessory we’ve seen that turns an ordinary bath into an Aphroditic spank sesh. Just tie it on the slide, turn the faucet to the temp of your choice, and enjoy the gentle, lapping sensation of having Bellagio water works caress you in the just the right spot.
The slide comes to us from the Loveability, a sexual wellness retailer that also sells condoms, water-based (of course) lubricants, massage candles, and more—but the 3D-printed slide is undoubtedly its star product, accruing over 2.5 million likes on one TikTok video alone, and over 34 million views for the #WaterSlyde hashtag. “If the future of all humankind rested on this product, we'd all dominate,” writes one user on the brand’s site, where it has earned a 4.9-star rating. “10s across the board. Hallelujah, amen, yes. This is the best product on planet earth. I can not stress enough how much i love this. YES YES YES, a million yeses. YES.”
In the past, we’ve luxuriated our nethers with CBD lube, fancy pube oil, and sex toys that are so high tech, they use their own AI. The WaterSlyde is a welcome reminder that sometimes, less is more. It’s more when you realize that you don’t need batteries or a tangle of charging cables with every swish new purchase—and it’s definitely more when you realize how nice it is to find a toy that uses nothing but water pressure to please you.
Whether you’re someone with a more limited range of motion and/or clitoral sensitivity, or looking for a saucy new way to massage and bon voyage in the bath, the WaterSlyde sure looks like the best way to slide into summer this year.
Learn more about the WaterSlyde at Lovability.
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