‘Empty Soul Girl on a Swing’ Is the New Home Depot Skeleton

I didn’t expect to fall in love at the mall last weekend. But I also didn’t expect to meet my muse, my bard, my henceforth wife for life, the Empty Soul Girl on a Swing:

Nestled in-between the “Adult Bad Habit Nun Costume” and the steezy Spirit Halloween merch, she swung: not a care in the world/this earthly realm, perched upon her faux plank of wood with a decrepit a blowout worthy of the Dyson Airwrap. Her soul wasn’t just haunted; it was empty in a Lana-Del-Rey-high-by-the-beach meets bog bodies kind of way. She was a cool girl, and she’s the true standout of the best Halloween decorations this year.   

People have always loved to go all-out for Halloween decor, but something shifted in the culture when the 12-foot Home Depot skeleton famously saved Halloween in 2020; he obscured not only suburban lawns, but our own pandemic anxiety with his handsome, towering bones and those piercing, sexy LCD eyes. Now, it’s nearly impossible to find him in-stock on Home Depot’s website, where he sells for $299. There are alternative towering skeletons on Amazon, but they’re spensi. Empty Soul Girl on a Swing, however, is a mere $69 (hot). She’s also 70 inches tall—or, one foot taller than Snooki—which is pretty impressive given her low price. 

Empty Soul Girl on a Swing is for the people, because she’s priced for the people. She’s a comrade. 

All of this makes her the perfect 2022 inheritor to the Home Depot skeleton’s legacy. She’s alluring, but enigmatic (she’s just bored with you); she’s doing the most while doing the absolute least (she just… sits there); she is the must-have spooky season item of the year, and the perfect addition to our classic lineup of 90s pumpkin string lights and gourds this fall.  

Home Depot skelly, you taught us how to love. Now, it’s time for Empty Soul Girl on a Swing to teach us how to live. 

Empty Soul Girl on a Swing can be purchased at Spirit Halloween. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.