Lick those fingers clean, Jimmy, because the holiday deals, deals, deals are already getting piped from the communal icing bag. As we speak, my sweet gingerbread folk, the price elves are hard at work slashing Benjamins so that you can get a head start on finding not only the best holiday gifts and deals for Mummy and Daddy and baby (can we be baby? We’re baby), but a bunch of rad stuff that you deserve for making it another week. In the words of our sleep paralysis demon, “EARTH! YoU dOn’T hAve tO bE cRazY to LivE hEre, buT it hElps.” Especially when you can air fry the pain away, delight your clit with a near-sentient vibrator that’s 65% off, and carry your groceries home in a Bart Simpson bag.
Last week, we sifted through the sands of cyberspace and time to bring you deals on everything from Caraway pans to outdoor fire pits. Well, this week we’re continuing to find the best early Black Friday deals, fluffiest bedding discounts, and other promotions to give you a drop of serotonin that tastes like summer, and slaps like the holiday spirit.
Coasters worthy of Georgia O'Keeffe
Don’t these artisanal coasters—sorry, table tiles—look like they were carved straight out of the red earth of Taos? [Hits joint.] Either way, they’re going to look very chic scattered around our pad this winter.
Amazon’s early Black Friday deals
Early Black Friday deals are already poppin’ off at Amazon, so we’re sniffing out the best promos on the best kitchen appliances and tools we’ve been drooling over in our dreams, including an air fryer that takes no prisoners (save for our crispy tofu) and a set of not one, two, or three, but a 10-piece [rings gong] KitchenAid cookware set that will basically outfit your entire kitchen for what would normally cost hundreds of dollars.
Buffy’s bedding best-sellers are 20% off
If there’s one thing we want to be better at during winter nesting season, it’s
stealing everyone else’s goose eggs swaddling ourselves in breathable, silky eucalyptus sheets by Buffy. They’re a buttery 300 single-ply thread count, and woven from a sateen-finish fabric in naturally dyed colors and classic stripe patterns. If you stay wrapped up in one tight enough, you will emerge in the morning as a baby butterfly.
This game-changing makeup remover is on sale
What in the Fran Drescher is Bioderma, you ask? The French skincare line is a game-changer. Along with Japanese skincare brand DHC’s makeup removal products, Bioderma is truly one of the best products one can use to keep skin clean and hydrated—and yes, we know that’s a big blanket statement, but it’s just that good.
This top-rated resistance band is half-off
Feeling the swole boi urge to strap on your sneakers, have raw liver for breakfast (don’t do that), and say hello to the sun gods before making the world your gym? This New Balance resistance training band is a great place to start.
The Simpsons X BAGGU is on promo
A lot of feels for this one, which we have BARTered down from the OG price (we haven’t; we’re just lucky) so that you can carry home all the kale, vintage finds, and bottles of Rush you need to get through the week.
These winter-ready Dr. Martens are on-sale
Long have we coveted our neighbor’s wife and her Dr. Martens curb stompers, but now we can finally take home a pair of the iconic boots on-sale. This 1460 Serena model has a toasty faux fur lining, an oil-resistant sole, and that signature yellow stitching that brings a little bit of sunshine to the streets.
This clitoral vibrator is 65% off
So, the Better Love Stella vibrator is basically like getting oral sex from the disembodied mouth of an omniscient mystic. It knows what it’s doing every damn time, like clockwork, with a flickering “tongue” for direct-contact stimulation, 10 speeds, and way more texture than your average clitoral toy for exxxtra pleasure. It’s also waterproof, so you can row your boat in the bath.
See you for next week’s deals, brethren.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.