Last-Minute Halloween Costumes That Make You Seem Less Lazy Than You Are

The scariest thing you could do on Halloween? Pull up to the function with a half-assed—or worse yet, nonexistent—costume. Think about it. What other day of the year are you subject to sending the combined message of, “I am lazy, boring, and not spooky,” in one go? It’s a 69-car pileup of party pooper energy, and your faithful VICE editors are not about to let that happen—no matter how much you’ve procrastinated. 

So, no—you are not being “drunk” for Halloween again, Brad. That being said, we, like Brad, are also pretty lazy. That doesn’t mean we aren’t obsessed with the Spooky Life, but it’s hard to pick up your laundry and stay hydrated, and remember to floss and find a last-minute Halloween costume before you have to embark on the Week Of Endless Halloween-Themed Events. That, dear readers, is where we come in. Finding last-minute shit is our JAM, and we couldn’t be happier to virtually hold your hand as we take a stroll down the internet’s costume aisle. 

First off, it’s all about choice accessories. There are so many gnarly, unhinged Halloween masks that we love, which pack a well-rounded visual punch, while also allowing for your personality to shine through. Perhaps you already have jeans and a black turtleneck, and the final piece of your cosplay as The Rock is a gold chain? Wherever you are in your last-minute Halloween costume journey, we’re here to help, which is why we’ve compiled this short list of some of our favorite last-minute Halloween costumes and festive accoutrements for the freakiest night of the year. 

The best thing about Halloween is the method acting, am I right? When else do you get to go totally Christian Bale, and embody a character with your whole mind, body, and soul? Sure, you’ll probably see a few versions of Carmy from The Bear running around, but will they all be mid-breakdown in a walk-in (season two finale spoiler, sorry kids)? Nope! Just you! If you don’t already have the perfect white T-shirt, this is the perfect excuse to indulge, then all you need is a chef’s coat and some FX makeup to make yourself a little frosty, et voilà! A Carmy popsicle.

If you’re not excited about the upcoming A24 movie about the King of Rock and Roll and his queen, then you’re lying. Everyone is excited. Get a jump on this trend before it’s super played out. Instead of Vegas Elvis or fat Elvis, go for the often-overlooked groom Elvis and his shining (very) young wife Priscilla.

We were living for the countless sexxi Drake memes this year, especially this TikTok. He’s the rapper we all love to hate, and hate to love, and we think there’s no better homage than flirty Champagne Papi. Just cop this baby pink Nike jacket and a gray turtleneck, and don’t forget to sway those hips.

Sigh. The viral J.W. Anderson pigeon purse flew the coop faster than we could have ever imagined, and we’ve been left with avian angst ever since. Pair this mask with a plastic take-out bag, and you’re everyone’s favorite enemy.

If you don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys, let them grow up to be people who have yeehawsexual energy and a healthy respect for Our Lord and Savior, Willie Nelson.

Bouffant your hair or buy a towering wig. Sing “Love Shack” on repeat, and keep the beat with these gahhhhgeous MEAT MITTENS. The hottest lobster in the Crockpot, you are.  

Do you run on Jerry Time? Do you spend your Saturdays foraging for your vape favorite mushrooms in the woods? Dress up in lazy but visually effective homage to the almighty psilocybin with a tie-dye shirt and a mushroom beret.

Pay homage to the actress in her most iconic role (Clueless, the greatest teen movie of all time) by dressing up as post-makeover Tai. Too many Cher costumes out there, not enough Tais.

Every hot and sad person was dressing up as a skeleton Phoebe Bridgers last year (and the look still slaps, TBH) but current weird-but-oddly-appealing power couple Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker have also been spotted wearing skeleton loungewear. If you’re looking for a last-minute couple’s costume, toss this jumbo pack of temporary tattoos in the cart to adorn the Trav to your Kourt.

Whether you wanna be Dusty (RIP) or Billy, the format is the same. First order of business: a long-ass beard and flat-top sunglasses (cheap ones, of course).

Then, finish it off with a brown leather hat and an embroidered Western jacket. Throw in a gold (inflatable) guitar, and you’re g2g.

Find a velvety cape to pair with vampire fangs—and good fangs—to go full 18th-century Vlad. I cannot stress enough the superiority of Scarecrow fangs; I still have the same pair from when I was eight years old (???) and convinced too many people they were real. 

Alternatively, you can pair your plush cape with some elven ears or hobbit feet to let all the other cottagecore/dark academia Lord of the Rings nerds you’re DTF.

Inflatable costumes have gotten huge, as have costumes that make it look like you’re riding a horse, dinosaur, or whatever. But this giant shrimp costume is next level, because we are true shrimp freaks.

Frogs are basically the new “I’m so random” thing for hot Instagram and TikTok people to base their entire personality around. (We kid the frogs.) Hippity hop on down to the liquor store, pick up a fat fifth of Chartreuse to honor the monks, and enjoy your amphibious night. People won’t be able to take their eyes off you… Some might even call you ribbiting. 

Did you know that bananas are technically vegetables? No, not really—but we had you going for a second, right? Show up to the party wearing this, talk to people about the importance of dietary fiber, and down a responsible amount of 99 Bananas. (JK, there’s no “responsible amount” of 99 Bananas.) 

Look, nobody needs to be reminded that pickled cucumbers are the second sluttiest vegetable fruit in the game, but it bears repeating. This Halloween, remind people that you’re a) hot, and b) down with sustainable preservation techniques. Throw on some fishnets and find a cutie to spear you and eat your with a sandwich, if you know what we mean. (We don’t.) 

Don’t forget your beer holster. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.