VICE may receive a commission if you buy products through the links on our site. Read more here.
Shopping

Review: Better Love's Blowfish Is the Best Budget Suction Vibrator on the Market

Better Love's double-ended Blowfish toy packs a suction feature and a flicky little tongue into an ingenious, compact design—and for a bargain.
Better Love
Composite by VICE Staff

The clitoris is a magical and mysterious thing. It’s so very tiny (although not hard to find, @men), yet capable of producing earth-shaking, euphoric waves of pleasure. Everyone with a clitoris has their own preferences when it comes to how they want theirs touched—by themselves or others. That’s why it’s a blessed time to be in 2022, when sex toys are ergonomic, evolutionary, and high-tech, and there’s been abundant research on have really, really great orgasms. 

Advertisement

That being said, the world of vibrators, while vast, can also feel a little homogenous at times when you’re, say, a person who gets sent many different kinds of new sex toys to test out for your very weird (but very fun) job. When I was a whippersnapper, stoned and giggling with my friends in tacky porno shops in the aughts, most vibrators were just smooth, plastic phallic things with a built-in buzz-buzz, Hitachi Magic Wands, or maybe a bullet vibrator that looked liked a tube of lipstick (classic). Honestly, we’ve come a long way! Suction vibrators really changed the game, providing the gentle, cunnilingus-simulating stimulation that many people with clitorises find takes them to that “need-an-exorcism level” or “orgasm heaven,” as two happy sex toy users put it. 

Today, we’re in a full-blown renaissance of oral-simulating toys. The world is our pleasure palace. But, they can come at wildly different price points, from the under-$10, ultra-basic suckers to LELO’s dreamy, $200, dual-stimulation Enigma (which I've tried, and it’s genuinely amazing). It can be tough to know which vibrator is right for you, but I can tell you this much: I have a new favorite toy, and it is the Better Love Blowfish


$59.99 at Better Love

$59.99 at Better Love

The Blowfish is a best-selling toy that I’ve heard great things about for a minute, but since I’m a longtime fan of the mother-of-all-suction-vibes Satisfyer Pro 2—and I’ve tried a bunch of other high-end cunnilingual bedroom tech—I figured that it would just be more of the (delightful) same. I received a sample of the Blowfish almost six months ago, and didn’t bust into it until I recently had a bout of curiosity. Folks, this is it. This is the guy. I can't believe this thing costs less than a medium-irresponsible lunch order. 

Advertisement

First impressions

When I first saw the Blowfish, my initial thought was that it’s smaller than I had expected. This compact toy fits in your palm, or even your pocket—depending on how tight your pants are, but certainly a cargo short pocket. I figured, hey, if I end up liking this thing, it might be the only toy I’d willingly stash in my luggage and take on a plane, especially because its shape is neither phallic nor wand-like and I don’t want to have to make awkward eye contact with whoever’s running the X-ray at security. I imagine its name came from the fact that it does, indeed, look like a cute sea creature.

One side has a classic circular vacuum end for placing directly on the pearl of your oyster, and the other end has a little “tongue” inside which makes it look a bit like a cartoon duck. I used the included charger (love a rechargeable toy that doesn’t eat batteries) to get it powered up, and noticed it has a blinking light when it’s plugged-in, so you know it’s effectively charging. For less than 40 bucks, there are quite a few handy design elements on this thing. 

What’s good

I love the double-ended design of the toy; I’m not sure why more toys don’t have a similarly versatile feature. When entering my boudoir and firing it up, it was kind of fun to think to myself, heyyyy, I’ve got options for how I want this to feel. And within those two heads (no pun intended), there are also up and down controls to increase or decrease the speed and intensity. It also charged really fast—like, in less than an hour? Impressive.

better-love-blowfish-review.jpg
Advertisement

Yo, I was not expecting the suction on this thing to be so powerful—or maybe it’s not that it’s aggressively powerful, but that it’s just the right level of suction for me, personally. And it’s WHISPER quiet. Like, probably can’t hear it from even just six feet away; we love a quiet sex toy for masturbating in peace. But I was taken on a magic carpet ride of very, very nice sensations as soon as I fired it up, one of those personal journeys through the cosmos where you feel super warm and tingly all over your body afterwards and have to immediately take a weird, drug-like nap for half an hour. 

What’s WOWOWOW

When I went in for round two, I opted for the flicky tongue, since I was already in a state of high sensitivity. Heavens to Betsy, the subtlety and targeted sensation of the little ducky end is perfect for having multiple orgasms when you want to keep going but can’t deal with the heavy-duty suction on your already exorcized bod. It takes a few moments to build, but the flicky feature is definitely the Blowfish’s secret weapon, especially for those who have clitorises that like lighter pressure and more subtle sensations rather than a big blast of buzzy vibration.  

What’s tricky

I have almost no complaints about the Blowfish, genuinely. However, sexual preferences are like snowflakes—everyone’s a little different!—and there are certainly people out there who may want a more heavy metal blast of stimulation on their hooha than what the Blowfish offers with its more tickly tongue. I do think that the level of suction will make most users happy, but it’s hard to say since it’s aLL sO sUbJecTivE, you know? I noticed that in the reviews (which are phenomenal, btw), lots of users prefer the suction side to the tongue-y side.

Advertisement

Also, while I absolutely appreciate that this toy is rechargeable, it is a little tricky to insert the charger into the port. When a glowing white light appears on the toy, that’s when you know that you’ve nailed it. 

TL;DR

For less than $40, this is one of the best—if not the best—oral-simulating toys you’re going to find on the market. It’s for those who like a lighter and more cunnilingual style of touch, and for that style of stimulation, it gets the job done like an absolute pro. 

I’d absolutely recommend it to friends who are new to the suction toy game, since it has an accessible price point, but also to those who are more seasoned with sexual wellness and are looking for new sensations. I can’t imagine ever getting bored of the sexually cosmic effects of the Blowfish. Vive la suction toy renaissance! 

The Better Love Blowfish vibrator is available on Amazon, Ella Paradis, and Better Love


The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.