What VICE Readers Bought This Month: Massagers, Maldon Salt, and Mattresses

What a difference a month makes: Our beanstalks have grown, our crypto has crashed, and our hearts remain ever-optimistic about finding the next serotonin-inducing hobby or objet for our apartments. We’ve been gardening on our fire escapes, buying natural wines online, and gearing up for a summer of homemade pizza, sleeping in on a new mattress in front of an AC unit on full blast, and hitting the streets in jeans that give us the ass of an angel and the networking savvy of Anna Nicole Smith. What more could our summer selves want? 

As we’ve spread the gospel of cult-fave Amazon products, gourmet salt, and the best Memorial Day sales, you’ve all been taking notes and smashing that order button. Last month, you took home everything from non-alcoholic beers to CBD lube, and this month you took home (even more) high-tech pizza ovens, adult furniture (no, not that kind), and the kinds of Vans that make our inner 1998 mall rat teen sing. From high-tech wellness gadgets to TikTok-viral jeans, here are the best things VICE readers bought during the month of May.   

All hail Ooni, the maker of home pizza ovens known for their user-friendly nature, and their ability to churn out the kind of bubbly crust that could give Roberta’s a run for its money. We tested the Karu 16 model ourselves on the VICE rooftop and were seriously impressed with how easy it was to assemble, and how idiot-proof it was—we made a few delish, artisanal pizzas in less than an hour. Now that it’s officially jorts/outdoor entertaining season, y’all have also smashed the order button on the Karu to turn your home into a Napoli pizzeria. 

When we die, make sure our urn is from West Elm. (If not, just pour us into this chicken-shaped bag.) The home and decor brand has mastered the art of contemporary, mid-century-modern-inspired furniture that would make even Don Draper swoon, so it’s no surprise you shopped West Elm’s Memorial Day sale event for deals on its best-selling bouclé swivel chairs, earthy dinnerware sets, and more.  

There’s a dizzying amount of hyped stuff on Amazon, so we’ve made a cheat sheet to the behemoth’s absolute best must-have items. These almighty Maldon salt flakes have over 33,000 reviews and a 4.8-star average rating on Amazon, where they’ve dazzled even the most discerning of salt savantes. “I know more than average about salt,” writes one fan of the flakes, which are harvested in the English town of Maldon. “I read a book on it, and have tried some of the fine salts [...] Suddenly, I understand why, long ago, salt was so valuable it was used as currency. It is an almost surreal experience.” You agreed, and ordered enough to sprinkle on your gooey chocolate chip cookies, avocado toast, summer salads, and more. 

The TikTok-viral Stradivarius jeans merit their name, because this is some Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-level magic. “[The] slim mom jeans are perfect for those of us who don't know where to go from skinnies and still want a form-fitting, super-flattering pant,” explains Angel Kilmister in their review of the jeans for VICE, which cost around $25, have the optimal level of stretch, and make your booty look heavenly.    

The Loftie alarm clock wants you to break up with your phone. Not in a shady way, but in a tech detox type of way, because it provides you with the kinds of unique wake-up soundscapes worthy of a Miyazaki film. We tested the Loftie ourselves to see if its ASMR-esque bells, whistles, and white noise machine features were actually worth it, and now we can’t remember what it was like to not get gently coaxed to consciousness by a chorus of singing bowls.  

Y’all really do have a soft spot for Vans, don’t you? One of the most serotonin-heavy shoes from the brand are its Sk8-Hi Tops, a.k.a. the fruits of a colorful collaboration between the iconic skateboarding gear company and Hedley & Bennett, which makes some of the sturdiest aprons you’ll ever own.  

You only get one spine, so we’re proud of y’all for investing in a mattress that treats it nice. The signature Saatva mattress is one of America's best-selling online luxury innerspring mattresses, and it has over 40,000 reviews praising everything from its crisp, non-chemical scent to its quality construction. “I slept like I hadn’t slept in two years, because I hadn’t!” writes one customer. “What an incredible product [from] a company that cares about chemicals and [its] customers, and top notch customer service” (Plus, it’s $200 off right now.)

If you experience screen time-induced headaches and eye pain (who doesn’t?), then the Renpho eye massager is like having a personal, on-the-go eyeball masseuse who can relieve tension and help you relax at the press of a button. Our staff writer Nicolette Accardi tested out the futuristic device, and found that it felt like a spa treatment and helped her find relief from tired, bloodshot eyes and eye-strain headaches. 

See you next month. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.