We Asked a YouTuber Running for London Mayor to Review Every Candidate

YouTuber Max Fosh, a 25-year-old with around 425,000 subscribers, has been campaigning to become the Mayor of London since March. He has two aims: to get more votes than the ed “anti-woke bad boy” candidate Laurence Fox and to get young people to vote in general – not necessarily for him though, as he readily admits that he would make a “terrible mayor”.

It’s looking like Labour candidate and current Mayor of London Sadiq Khan will most likely retain his position, meaning the most interesting race is the battle of the “Fs” – Fosh vs. Fox. Despite Fosh admitting that he wouldn’t be particularly suited to the position and doesn’t expect to win, the pair are currently neck and neck with 1 percent of the vote. That’s a little embarrassing for Fox, given the fact that he claims to have used a £5 million budget for his campaign.

 We caught up with Fosh (whose policies include putting a seed in every cigarette butt, providing every household with a cow and changing the siren of all police cars to Laurence Fox’s song “The Distance” (this, he argues, will get people to move out the way 23 percent faster – it’s all outlined on his manifesto) a day before the polls opened and asked him to review some of the other candidates.

“Look, I’ve been a terrible politician here and I haven’t actually looked into the policies of my fellow rivals. But Sadiq, he looks like a lovely man. He looks like the sort of man you meet at your dad’s barbeque and you end up having a really good chat about football with – that’s what Sadiq Khan looks like. I’ve not met him, but hopefully on results night I will. And I bet you we’ll have a cracking chat about the European Super League.”

SHAUN BAILEY, CONSERVATIVE

“The only opinion I have on Shaun is his branding for the campaign, it’s been quite interesting; I think it looks a little bit like a detergent company. Whether that’s a good or bad thing I’ll leave to the viewers, but, yeah, Shaun Bailey with that white and blue stripe does remind me a bit of Daz, if I’m honest. Yeah, that’s the only thing I’ve got to say about Shaun Bailey.”

COUNT BINFACE, INDEPENDENCE

“Ah, yes, what a man. He has some policies that you can really get behind. I mean every croissant in London to be under £1. Simon, I would ask you to go out now and find someone who wouldn’t agree with that policy – it’s just absolutely brilliant. It’s great to see an intergalactic candidate really throwing their name into the ring. 

“And reversing the escalators on the Underground for one day a year for Londoners to keep fit. Yeah, keep Londoners on their toes. When I take the Tube I’m kind of on autopilot; I know where I need to be, I know where the platform is and I just get my head down and go. To suddenly switch it up, and not know when that day is going to be ­– brilliant; it’ll keep you on your toes, keep you mentally sharp and healthy.”

PIERS CORBYN, INDEPENDENT  

“I don’t think he can ‘end all lockdowns’ because the lockdowns are not the responsibility of the Mayor of London. But good old Mr Corbyn, he’s doing his best.” 

BRIAN ROSE, INDEPENDENT 

“Well, I mean, Brian released a 50-page manifesto which is quite long. We were told to try and keep it as brief as possible, and he’s written a mini novel. I didn’t quite get through all of it so I can’t say that I’ve formed a full picture of Mr Rose yet. However, he did drink his own urine recently. I think that’s all you need to know about Mr Rose.

“Do I think he’ll do particularly well? Not at all. Also, I’d like to ask him to pronounce my name correctly. He calls me ‘Farsh’, you know? Rather than the correct pronunciation of ‘Fosh’.”

LAURENCE FOX, INDEPENDENT 

“Ah, Lozza, my darling friend. In terms of his anti-lockdown stance, if you want his opinions please talk to him, but he has said in the past that he’s slightly needle-phobic which is not nice. Because it’s never nice when you’re scared of things. On a completely unrelated note though, I do love Laurence’s tattoos. They are really beautiful and evoke some beautiful images.

“If I’m going to be honest, Simon, I’m not confident [in beating him]. He’s got a huge political machine behind him, he’s got £5 million, he’s got backing from some very eminent figures. Do I think Laurence is going to win? Absolutely. Would it be great to win [against him] myself? Of course.

“I would like to say though that I am taking into account all votes in this election – there’s the first and second preference vote. Some people think ‘just take the first preference’. No! A Londoner has their democratic right to vote for two people, so I’ll be counting every vote that I achieve.

“Does he deserve his reputation as the ‘anti-woke bad boy’? I don’t know. He won’t debate me even though we seem to be political rivals. I would love to ask him that question in a debate, if only he would show up.”

@oldspeak1