Photos via Gumtree
What is living in London like? Hell. Here’s proof, beyond all doubt, that renting in London is a nightmare.
Where is it? The listing says “Edmonton”, which is the name they gave to the industrial park bit of Tottenham, but even then I’d say that’s a bit of a push. It’s therefore “aspiring to be Edmonton”. The nearest Overground station is called “Silver Street”. I’ve lived in this city for over a decade now and I am just learning there is an Overground station called “Silver Street”. Am I stupid and uncultured? Yes. Did the government secretly release a map update in the latest London patch, installed overnight to include the newly-invented “Silver Street Overground station”? Also yes. Both things can be true.
What is there to do locally? You’re in a Bermuda Triangle of emergency services here, equidistant from a police station, an ambulance station and a full hospital, so I suppose you can do anything you want, because however hard you fuck up, there’s someone there whose job it is to fix it. But I mean let’s be honest here: the only reason people go to Edmonton is to badly park a Zipvan underneath the big IKEA before going to buy bath mats, lamps and exactly one doomed succulent the same weekend they move to Stoke Newington. So I suppose you can just go and watch all those couples file down the escalator, fuming, holding the last few bites of a 99p hotdog, whatever traces of romance that had somehow survived their decision to move in together lost now, sizzling off them like a steam, evaporating lifeless into the grey-blue sky above. You eat a miniature Daim bar and guess how long they’ll make it. I’m saying: eight months.
Alright, how much are they asking? £750 p.c.m., which would normally get the “not so bad!” caveat footnote (*1]), but this one comes with a demand from the landlord: Couples Only.
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement