I Had My Name Ruined By a Pop Song

Since the advent of pop music, people have been writing songs with names in them. Typically, these tracks were written by hopeless romantics looking to garner the attention of the girl who rejected them at the Year 6 disco, but the art of a “name track” has since evolved.

Consider football chants, which will lyrically cast a certain player or manager as a folk hero. Will Grigg, Yaya and Kolo Toure, Steven Gerrard – as soon as they step anywhere near a pitch, they’re welcomed by their own unofficial theme song. But the concept transcends the football pitch. Being name-checked in a song seems to be deemed a pass for that song to follow you around forever.

For some people, while initially fun, it has resulted in the track or their name effectively being ruined by strangers feeling compelled to jump into impromptu karaoke whenever they introduce themselves. Spare a thought for the Roxannes, the Michelles and anyone with a disyllabic name that has an “ooh” sound for the first syllable and an “ee” for the second, who are doomed to be constantly serenaded with Kaiser Chiefs’ “Ruby”.

I spoke to a few people who have had their name ruined by songs to find out why having your own theme tune isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

“This was already three years old when I was born, so everyone knew it well by the time I was on the scene. My last name was ‘Cotter’ growing up, so sometimes I'd get the Welcome Back, Kotter theme song too. I remember my mother having me introduce myself to adults, and many would start singing the chorus to ‘Come on Eileen’ – I thought it was a special song just for me.

“I finally met another Eileen in high school and was surprised that I was a bit jealous at school dances when we both were the star of the song! I got older, though, and would get a bit annoyed, or even start my intro with, ‘I'm Eileen – you know, like the song,’ to avoid the singing. I almost miss it these days, because the song is nearing 40 years old, and a lot of young people don't make the connection.” – Eileen, 34, Boston, USA

“The song was inescapable when it came out, and I think it went to number 1 in the UK charts too. Pretty much straight away, people started singing it to me, even though the ‘Ayo’ in the song is pronounced differently to my name, but it’s spelled the same so everyone just jumped on it.

“I initially found it funny, but it got very annoying. Since it was so unavoidable, I just embraced it – so much so that my nickname at uni was ‘Ayo Tech’. That said, if I hear it on the radio or on a playlist, I’ll skip it straight away. The same goes for ‘Ayo’ by Chris Brown.” – Ayo, 27, East London

“It was fun when it first came out, but it got really annoying after, I don’t know, five minutes? I’m a big Rihanna fan and it hasn’t put me off her at all, but I literally couldn’t stand hearing ‘Umbrella’ for a long time. It’s weird, because it isn’t really my name, it just happens to have the same ending.

“There was a song I grew up with in France called ‘Ella, elle l'a’ by France Gall, and that very much felt like my anthem in a way that ‘Umbrella’ doesn’t. It’s about this free spirited girl and her name is actually Ella, so I feel much more attached to that, even though people don’t sing it to me.”  – Ella, 30, South London

“When I was younger, my parents would sing this to me and it was sometimes on the radio. It’s not something that makes me recoil, and it's not necessarily annoying when people sing it to me, it's just a bit awkward. You just don’t really know how to respond.”  – Eloise, 24, Bristol

“I come from a very musical family, so music has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. I was never skinny growing up. I always felt like I was slightly bigger than everyone else, so to have this song with ‘big fat sister Naomi’ – it was a nightmare!

“There was a wedding when I was a teenager, and everyone was dressed really nicely and shaking a leg on the dance floor, then suddenly the song came on. Everyone made a circle around me and started singing, and I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

“Now, I don’t mind all that much. I’ll have a giggle. But I do remember at times when I was younger, probably a lot less confident that I am now, absolutely cringing. I just braced myself and knew that everyone was going to have a good laugh at my expense.” – Naomi, 33, West London

“I definitely remember being dumped at this summer camp by my parents when I was around nine or ten, and the song was pretty popular then. There was this one guy there called Alan who literally used to sing it to me every fucking day. As soon as I walked in the door he called me ‘Brimful’, which caught on with everyone else. Now, I don’t really mind it – I’m actually quite fond of it.

“The one that was probably worse for me growing up was the Pokémon theme song. I’d correct people if they called me ‘Ash’ instead of ‘Asher’. I loved Pokémon, but Ash was such a lame character. He was so fucking wet, so I just didn’t want to be associated with him.” – Asher, 29, North London

“My dad worked for Polydor Records at the time, and my mother wanted to call me Rachel, but my dad insisted on naming me after a Ramones track. It was always something I took great pride in, but as I was born in the 80s, some people think I was named after Sheena Easton, which is slightly less cool. There’s also ‘Sheena Is a Parasite’ by The Horrors, which is much less complimentary, so I’m not too crazy about people singing that.

“Being named after a song, though, even as a child, sort of resonated with me, and I remember being like, ‘Well, I'd love to listen to this kind of music because it's where my name came from.’ I guess it sort of mapped out my future, as I followed my dad into music. I'm 38 now, and I'm lucky enough to have carved out a career in music. My youngest son is seven and he loves when I play the song for him, as he thinks the fact his mum's name is in a song is so cool.” – Sheena, 38, Dublin

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