Woman Told Cops She Was a 'Thoroughbred White Girl' to Get Out of a DUI

All summer long, white people have been calling the cops on people of color for doing absolutely nothing, under the privileged assumption that police officers are somehow at their disposal to solve petty conflicts. In reality, cops often spend their time dealing with violent crimes or traffic violations, violations that do in fact still apply to white people—a lesson that a woman learned on Saturday when she tried to get out of a DUI because she was a "clean, thoroughbred, white girl" with good grades.

According to the Island Packet, 32-year-old Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw was pulled over Saturday for blasting through a four-way stop at 60 MPH—30 MPH above the speed limit—with a .18 blood alcohol level, which is more than twice the legal limit. According to a police report, she told the cops she had only drank two glasses of wine, explaining, "I mean I was celebrating my birthday." Shockingly, the old birthday excuse wasn't enough to get her off the hook, so she tried a different tactic.

Armed with a heaping load of white privilege, Cutshaw offered the cops a list of qualities about herself that one might spew out during a date or an entry-level job interview as reasons she shouldn't be arrested. Here's the full list, according to the Island Packet, below:

Unfortunately for Cutshaw, her social prowess and GPA didn't convince the officers to let her off with a warning. So she whipped out the big guns, telling the cops she was a "very clean, thoroughbred, white girl"—because a little bit of implicit racism is a surefire get-out-of-jail-free card. When the officers asked her what the hell she was talking about, she responded: "You’re a cop, you should know what that means."

Ultimately, Cutshaw's impeccable grades, social accolades, police-officer boyfriend, and equine-level whiteness couldn't make up for the fact that she was driving recklessly enough to get somebody killed. The cops carted her off to jail and charged her with a DUI, speeding, disregarding a stop sign, simple possession of marijuana, and possession of drug paraphernalia, the Island Packet reports. Maybe she'll get lucky, and wind up with a judge who really values high school achievements and white supremacy—or, you know, maybe she'll just get her license suspended like everybody else.

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