It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: Some guy in Florida
Screencap via Google Maps
The incident: A dog took a shit in someone's front yard.
The appropriate response: Asking the owner of the dog to clean it up.
The actual response: The owner of the yard allegedly shot a guy.
Last week, a 30-year-old man named Dante Williams was hanging out with an unnamed, dog-owning female friend in Tampa, Florida. According to a report on Tampa's WFLA, the unnamed woman's dog took a shit in her neighbour's front yard. The neighbour has not been named either.
Witnesses say that the unnamed neighbor came out and asked the unnamed dog owner to clean up the unnamed dog's poop.
The dog owner says she went inside to get "help with the cleaning", and, when she returned, Dante had been shot by the irate neighbor.
The reporter from WFLA spoke to neighbors on the street where the shooting had taken place to ask if the dog had caused any other problems. She was told it had not. One neighbor she spoke to, a man named Wally Grimsley, said, "if somebody will shoot somebody else over a dog, what would they do if you said 'hey, you're in my parking spot'?" The answer to that, if Tampa is anything like LA at least, is they would stab you to death.
Dante was taken to a nearby hospital, where he is reported to be in stable condition. The unnamed neighbour remains at large.
Cry-Baby #2: Natalie Greaves
Image via Tesco.com
The incident: A woman's ten-year-old son bought a pumpkin carving kit that contained a small blade.
The appropriate response: Carving a face into a pumpkin with it.
The actual response: The woman, concerned that the blade might be dangerous, complained to the store where the blade was purchased and took her story to the local paper.
Earlier this week, 34-year-old Sheffield, England resident Natalie Greaves sent her ten-year-old son, Shay, to buy a pumpkin carving kit from her local Tesco store.
The kit, as you would expect of something designed to carve pumpkins, contained a small metal blade with a rounded end, like the one in the above picture. Natalie was not happy about this. "I went berserk when he came home with it", she told her local paper, The Star.
The outraged mother contacted the store to complain. "I couldn't believe that he could pick that sort of thing up as a child", she said. "There should have been an age restriction on it".
As a result of her complaints, the store agreed to put an age restriction on all of its products, which include the tiny, harmless knives.
This wasn't enough for Natalie, who also contacted her local paper to let everyone know about the positive changes she's making in the world. "If the tool can cut through pumpkin, I'm sure it could cut through skin", she said in her interview. "Shay bought it with the intention of doing a pumpkin but if he had fallen over with it in his hand or pocket he could have injured himself".
At the time of press, Natalie had not specified how she felt about her son being able to purchase keys, pens, forks, pins, vegetable peelers, and about one million other things that are just as likely to penetrate his skin as the pumpkin blade.
Which of these folks is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this little embeddable poll thing here:
Previously: A woman got kicked out of the opera for wearing a niqab and some guys allegedly shot a woman because they lost at beer pong
Winner: The beer pong guys!!!
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