Let’s take a moment to survey the situation: the last time Frank Ocean released music, Stormzy was still doing cyphers on SB.TV, Miley Cyrus was still rubbing her crotch with a foam finger, and the world wasn’t imploding in on itself like a meringue that’s been taken out of the oven too soon. I didn’t have a small web of wrinkles around my eyes. David Bowie was alive. I'm not complaining – art takes time, patience is a virtue etc etc – but it's almost hard to believe that Frank Ocean's sophomore album is supposed to arrive this Friday, because so much time has passed, and the world has irreparably changed since he last released an album. So what's the deal? Is it Boys Don't Cry coming out on Friday or what? Will this cycle ever end?
On the one hand, it was the New York Times that first reported the release of the album, and they are reliable. “The release is also expected to include a major video and a printed publication called ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ that will be distributed at Apple stores,” they wrote in an authorative tone, before adding: “Mr. Ocean’s album is expected to remain exclusive to Apple for only two weeks before becoming more widely available, according to that person, who was not authorized to discuss the release plans and therefore spoke on condition of anonymity.” Sounds legit, right? Probably. Possibly. I don't know. Do we even like Frank Ocean that much? I can't remember. Deep down, I am excited to be able to stop thinking about this thing.
In the meantime, why don’t you watch Frank Ocean’s “Swim Good”, which was released in 2010, back when Justin Bieber looked like this, and people were taking photos of themselves looking like planks of wood. Isn't the passing of time weird?