Mariah Carey is mostly famous for three things: a voice that is somehow even better than her hair, failing to convince us that crochet is a viable means of support, and singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" – which is omnipresent from the moment a thirsty Topshop employee decides to whack on Now That's What I Call Christmas right up to Boxing Day when everyone is being sick in a bin. It's arguably the most generation-friendly festive banger we have.
That's the original version. Now we have a new version, birthed by Tumblr user Formeldeharv (and first reported by Fact), who ran it through a MIDI converter and then back through an MP3 converter. This is the result:
Thanks for that Tumblr. It sounds like Chaz and Dave performing a piano duet, while falling down the stairs, after drinking Buckfast to within an inch of their lives. It sounds like the worst moments of your life flashing through your head just before you're hit by a night bus outside a pub on Christmas Eve. It sounds like what Donald Trump must play in his head to tune out the sound of anyone trying to tell him that the way he thinks about the world is wrong. The strangest bit is that even though the vocal line has been removed, the track is still haunted by Mariah Carey's inability to stick to one note for more than 0.001 seconds. I swear you can still hear the words. What a beautiful monstrosity.