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Do I Look More Attractive While Standing Next to This Near-Naked Girl?

Well, do I?

According to some people, if you want to go out on the pull, conventional wisdom says that you go with your friend who has that giant goiter and a weeping facial wound. Some crappy scientists have officially subscribed to this theory, presumably to drum up publicity for science and get more funding for research into how to blast meteorites out of Earth's trajectory. Unfortunately, some other scientists disagree totally and think that you've got to stand with someone so insurmountably hotter than you so the glory will reflect back on your nasty face. In an effort to get to the bottom of this heated debate, I was photographed while standing next to the assorted masses of London to see which made me look sexiest. Judge me. I can take it.

Annoncering

Do I look attractive while standing next to this impressively bearded man?

Do I?

Do I look more attractive while standing next to a male model posing against a wall?

Do I look more attractive while standing next to this diminutive charmer?

Do I look more attractive while standing next to this man cleaning a hotel?

Do I look more attractive while standing next to the man who invented the word "party" in 1959?

Do I look more attractive while standing next to a man that owns a Jeep with a fully functional rifle perched on top?

Do I look more attractive while casually putting my arm around a French chef on his cigarette break?

Do I look more attractive while standing next to this depressed shopkeeper?

Do I?

Do I look more attractive while being awkwardly flanked by two attractive vintage shop girls?

Do I look more attractive while perched in-between two (possibly) heavy drinkers?

Do I look more attractive while hanging with some stoners?

Do I look more attractive while surrounded by an assemblage of the opposite sex in summer shoes?

Do I look more attractive while standing next to this lime green-loving lady?

Do I look more attractive while standing next to this girl in a bikini?

Do I?

I think I look fab.

WORDS: BEN COHEN
PHOTOS: CAOIMHE O'REILLY