The Real Heat's Suki, Zaza and Shaki at Madame Jo Jo's. Photo by Jamie-James Medina
The Real Heat are three black teen/early 20s singer sisters from Brixton who swear they write and produce all their own music. I dunno, people are saying that Richard X and Mark Moore from S'Express have got something to do with them as well but I don't really care. I hate it when people get obsessed with questioning the "4-real" factor of pop groups. They tend to be the same sort of IDIOT that says things like "I think that Cheryl from Girls Aloud is the most important British pop singer since Liam Gallagher." You know the kind. All crying at Flaming Lips concerts, headbanging to The Darkness, pretending to like the Dizzee Rascal album and working at bad indie rock magazines. Me, I don't care. I'll believe anything The Real Heat fucking say as long as it doesn't annoy me or make me feel paranoid. I'll pretend to agree with anything anybody says if it benefits me financially, socially or sexually. And most of you are exactly like me in that respect. And if you disagree with me you're probably lying. Anyhow, we first met The Real Heat after their gig at Electrogogo at Madame Jo Jo's in Soho and they were all really sweet and the oldest one Suki (23) told us that Vice was their first ever interview and and it was all very exciting! "We just play wherever we're welcome," she shouted over the fruity electro and the squeals of their mainly gay men fanbase who kept butting into -our conversation to say things like: "Girls! I'm getting out of here now! Going somewhere else" (like anybody cared). When we asked them who was in charge of the group, all three of them, somewhat predictably, answered "Oooh me!" But then Suki went on to interrupt the other two to tell us a story about how she got kicked out of school for attacking another pupil with a crowbar. So it's obviously her. When we asked her where she got the crowbar from she looked at us like we were idiots and said: "From the girl's toilets." Like… where else? "I wasn't a bully but at school there was always people trying to get me into trouble," she continued while the other two looked on in admiration. "I hated school anyway. I wanna be a famous singer. Don't mention the crowbar." The Real Heat and Richard X have recorded a version of Alexander O'Neal's "Criticize" called "Criticize X" but nobody knows when it's coming out. We heard it and it sounded totally fucking amazing.