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Pretending To Be Arnie's Baby Mama

Last month, in the most shocking scandal since the world found out Kate Moss was a cocaine user, the story of the Arnold Schwarzenegger affair broke.

As Mildred Baena (Arnold's baby-mama) deleted her Facebook page within 45 seconds of her name being made public, I decided to make a fake one to replace it.Which I totally forgot about this until I saw that guy's Taylor Swift Tumblr that everyone was blogging about yesterday. I tried to log in to the FB account just now, but I think they must have deleted it (shocker). Luckily, I set up a Hotmail account to receive notifications as I got them. In total, there were 1,087. I just went through them all. Most of them were like this:

Annoncering

Messages of support from middle-aged Mexican ladies. Which I'm not going to post here because A) they're totally boring, and B) I feel kinda bad that they sent messages of support to my fake profile. Soz guys. The rest were divided up into two groups. Group one, the angry girl group:

Because gender stereotypes exist for a reason, all of these hateful messages are from women. Did they not see Tina Fey's big speech at the end of Mean Girls? Also confirming the stereotypes were our second group, horny men:

So there you go, Mildred Baena: The girls wanna encourage her or call her a bitch, the guys wanna sleep with her.

Also, I can't believe I just read through over 1000 messages sent to a woman I don't know. WTF am I doing with my life?

GLEN COCO