Last night the Beastie Boys premiered their concert film “Awesome I Fuckin’ Shot That” in New York. The concept was kind of novel, and given that these guys used to be great (all the way until to ’94), we went to check it out. BIG Mistake.
What the fuck went wrong with these dudes? For 12 years it’s the same deal: they have a great idea (give 60 fans video cameras at their Madison Square Garden show and then make a movie out of the footage), and then butcher the fuck out of it, because Yauch or whomever can’t get over his giant ego and the idea that anything they’ve done since the “Sabotage” video has mattered. Aren’t you a buddhist or something, there, Cochese?
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Anyway, 90 mins of shitty super-8, Mixmaster Mike masturbation
close-ups, way too many intro-to-final-cut-style “solarize effects” and
10,000 retarded fat girls and Queens wiggers later, the lights came up and we were
treated to a Q and A with the Beasties themselves. Ever seen a bukkake film? It was kind of like that. Everybody just coming all over the Boys like they had just seen “Apocalypse Now, Part 2.” The guys had dressed up like your grandpa for the occasion, which is the one nice thing you could say – at least they have a sense of how fucking old they are. Now if they’d just stick to collecting royalties and trying to preserve a once-amazing legacy by never recording or filming anything ever again, we’d be all set. Cause they give a shit what we “think”, right?
Fellas: Paul’s Boutique is one of the greatest albums ever. Please don’t keep making us think of abortions like “Right Right Now Now” every time we hear “Hey Ladies.” Please?
