If you read Tierney Ceara’s piece about selling soiled panties, toenails, and bodily fluids to pervs over the internet, you might have been left wondering where she peddles her wares. eBay has a long-standing policy against listing human waste, and in our experience trying to sell shaved pubes over CraigsList will result in an immediate flagging. But, if you’re ever in the market for yellow cake with a smear of shit-frosting or lollipops that have traversed the glorious orifices of a 40-something, look no further than eBanned.com—a one-stop clearinghouse for all your corporeal fetish needs.

Besides the blasé listings of dischargy panties, “musky” pantyhose,
“sissy items,” and the yummy treats above, you’ll find things for sale
that will make your inner-capitalist beam with pride. For instance,
take Miss Adriennes’s chewed up and spit out Hot Tamale candies. Who
can resist a description like this? “The winners will receive a whole
box (chewed up & spit out in a Ziploc baggy) of Tamales and one
PICTURE of my FACE. So lets see who’s the biggest candy slut of them
all… Hahahaha…” She even throws in a video of the chewing and
spewing FOR FREE. How can you possibly beat this deal?

The bad news is that you must register for eBanned with a credit card (they temporarily charge you $1 for “verification” purposes) and wait about a day before you can feast your eyes on this magnificent marketplace.