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Rainbow Report: The Week in LGBT

Sadly, Robert Mugabe Doesn't Have a Gay Son

Pour one out for Chipape Mugabe, the dictator's gay son whose existence was a hoax.

Image by Marta Parszeniew (via)

This week in karma, a bunch of people started celebrating when the son of Robert Mugabe – long-term Zimbabwean dictator and notorious despiser of gays – announced that he was coming out. According to the esteemed WordPress blog Lifestyle Tabloids, Chipape Mugabe merrily revealed his sexuality on the popular British radio show that I'm sure you're all familiar with, Good Morning UK.

Annoncering

“My father is probably still very shocked, therefore I’m giving him space to allow all these news to sink in, more so, to get him used to the idea of having a gay son. I sincerely hope my revelation will allow people to stop and think; what if my own child is gay?" chirruped Chipape, as tons of people subsequently copied and pasted the link onto my Facebook wall.

Obviously, this story is amazing, the only problem with it is that Chipape doesn't exist. (TBH, I'm not even sure Chipape exists as a name.) The site even has a disclaimer literally one click away from the "Mugabe son comes out" story:

Our Satirical category carries fictionalized, satirical articles. Its content, including quotes, should in no way be interpreted as an actual record of events, unless a story specifically states so.

Sure enough, this story is published in the Satirical category. Also, the design of Lifestyle Tabloids is orange and brown, and let's face it, only a maniac would be able to put those colours together with a straight face.

If your expectations of the world have been lowered at all by the revelation that Robert Mugabe probably doesn't have a gay son, you'll be happy to know that the UK Supreme Court ruled against a couple of fossilised Christians who, back in 2008, refused to let a gay couple enjoy the facilities of the B&B they own in Cornwall. According to Peter and Hazelmary Bull (74 and 69 years old, respectively), they only turned away Steven Preddy and Martyn Hall because they consider any sex outside of marriage to be a "sin".

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Last year, Bristol County Court made them pay £3,600 in damages and subsequently the Court of Appeal dismissed their case but that wasn't enough humiliation for the "ordinary Christians who believe in the importance of marriage as the union of one man and one woman". This time around, they took their case all the way to the Supreme Court, only to be unceremoniously thrown out of the door again.

I understand this is an important moment for secularism but all this story makes me feel is sad. However misguided, Hazelmary (she's called Hazelmary, for fuck's sake) and Peter are merely a couple of Methuselahs watching the world move beyond their own logical framework. Their stubbornness is nothing more than an equivalent to plain, old-fashioned generational racism. This is not the moment to pat ourselves on the back because we happened to be conceived after 1980, this is the moment to be thinking of ways to make sure that those being born after us will never have to deal with this kind of bullshit.

Some bullshit that happened to people because they are gay this week:

– Being beaten unconscious, robbed and having the word "Fag" written on your forehead in Paris, (Tennessee).

– Being tear-gassed while on a night out, at your favourite club in Moscow.

– Having your offices ransacked by three men carrying handguns and machetes in Haiti.

– Putting up with more old crazies demanding that you are castrated before using the toilets if you are transgender in Colorado.

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Aaaaand:

– the World Health Organisation claiming a whole nation is infecting themselves with HIV on purpose.

Nikki Sinclaire and UKIP member Steve Morson in happier times. Photo via

Moving on to slightly weirder stuff, a British MEP revealed that she is transgender on BBC Radio 5 last Friday. Which would be great news, if it weren't immediately followed by her announcement that she was forced into the revelation by the blackmail attempts of journalists and UKIP members. Nikki Sinclaire is currently on bail after being arrested in February 2012 "on suspicion of conspiracy to defraud the European Parliament".

And all I am now is confused.

Finally, snaps for this week's reverse homophobe, Dayna Morales. Remember the African American Red Lobster waitress who may or may not have scammed $10,000 out of hundreds of socially sensitive people worldwide after allegedly being handed a receipt proudly sporting the N-word by a customer? Well, it seems that Dayna, who has been working as waitress in New Jersey, read about that and decided to do the same. "I’m sorry but I cannot tip because I don’t agree with your lifestyle and how you live your life,” read the receipt that Dayna claimed she was handed on the 13th of November, provoking around $2,000 in sympathy tips.

However, her cover was quickly blown: "Dayna has been caught in multiple lies, telling co-workers she shaved her head because she had brain cancer and later telling them it was her friend who had brain cancer," said her colleagues and friends. In the meantime, a couple who asked to remain anonymous contacted the WNBC TV station and produced a receipt that was printed at the same time, on the same date, for the same amount, except with an $18 tip.

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For the lulz, I'm going to close with this quote from LGBT Nation:

"Former co-workers said Morales also told people she was a former Marine who was sent to Afghanistan and that everyone in her platoon died in an explosion except her. Major Shawn Haney, a spokesman for the US Marines, said in an email that Morales had served in the Marine Corps Reserve from July 13, 2009, to May 21, 2013 at the rank of Lance Corporal as an administrative specialist."

:(

Follow Elektra on Twitter: @elektrakotsoni

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