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Black Panties Has Seen People Cry Because They Couldn’t Take Guns Into The Zoo

Listen to the schizoid new track from the St Louis punks who play with the negative energy turned up to 11.

Image: Ashley Hohman

St Louis is a music town. Chuck Berry, Tina Turner and Miles Davis spent their formidable years in the Gateway City and in the mid 80s Sheryl Crow shared her passion as an St Louis elementary school music teacher. In recent years the city has also become home to a burgeoning punk scene based around Lumpy and the Dumpers and his Spotted Race label that includes bands such as Cal and the Calories, Trauma Harness, and Black Panties.


Black Panties, who has spent time playing in Lumpy’s bands over the years, has a new seven-inch on DC label Windian but it’s still as raw and unhinged as you’d expect from a guy who plays in a black gimp mask and has released tapes like Fuck Nelly, Here'sBlack Panties.

Tracks on the new record like “Future”, “Born Into Shit” and “You’ll Never Find My Body” (that we are premiering below) pound you in the head with more negative energy than you can probably physically withstand in a ten-minute sitting.

Noisey: What it’s it like backing up Lumpy? Does it get tiring?
Black Panties: I wouldn't know. You should ask Lumpy what it's like to back me up. He's played in my band a couple times before he was half famous for shaking his dick or whatever Adam Sandler shit he's up to now. Usually he just throws piles of money at me to make him another hit record so he can spend it all on slime or whatever he's into. I mean the kid's like 19 or some shit. He needs to grow up and start his own band. So yes, it gets tiring. No, I don't do 'backing up'. I’m a fucking grown up. How does it feel 'backing up' an Internet publication whose links people like and never click?

You have a song called “Born Into Shit”. What was your childhood like?
Same as anyone's really. Lots of parents, small closet in the root cellar until I was old enough to mate. Three meals a week, church every Sunday. Whenever a family pet would die they'd let me play with it and I would get really close to some of those animals. Those really were the good old days before father Dan got arrested and they shut down the compound.

For a band that seems to have a lot of pent up hate and negativity, naming a song “Future” seems like a bold move. What do you see in the future?
Here's every word in the song, "It gets worse. You get hurt. They die. You always cry. I've seen the future and I hate it". Yes, I’ve seen the future. I am a timeless entity with great knowledge beyond your little fashion bloggy. As awful as your life and our culture is right now, it is the best it will ever be. In the future Christians will still be all over. Everyone will be too scared to say or do anything before the Tumblr sees it. Everyone is fat and just looks at porn on their eye phones all day. The whole world is holding hands and jerking each other off onto vegan organic cupcakes. The old world is dead. You ever see the part in Terminator where the dude steps on a bunch of skulls? Now that shit was cool.

Apparently St. Louis was the site of the demonic possession treated by a Jesuit priest from St. Louis University Theological, that inspired the book, and later the movie, The Exorcist.
Yeah that house is here. Some fuckin nerds live there now and try to throw shitty little house parties because they don't have any friends except in World of Warcraft. A guy I know saw a dog wait at a crosswalk until the light turned green then crossed on it's own. I’ve seen people kiss in public. I’ve seen people cry because they can't bring their gun into the zoo. Shit's fucked up everywhere including St Louis. Our city mascot is a big fucking hunk of metal sticking out of the ground. Our mayors last name is Slay. I hear helicopters flying over me right now. What'd you expect?

The Black Panties 7" is available Nov 13. Preorders available now.