Encased in this series of factual shots were enough “oh yeah” moments to tip you into nostalgia.
2K13 was the year when we stumbled upon a treasure chest of obscure music trivia from our host of Noisey Guides. Remember that time that Prince said fuck the internet and released his album via newspaper or when Xtina Aguilera forgot the words to the American national anthem? Encased in this series of factual shots are enough “oh yeah” moments to tip you into nostalgia.
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO… Britney Spears
Annoncering
SWEET MOTHER OF DEEP FRIED SQUIRRELS, Britney Spears is fully back in the game with the video for "Work Bitch" and reminding me why I fell in love with this crazy bitch the first time round. I mean, Britney Spears was the first pop princess of my lifetime. As a bored Catholic school girl, Britney steamrolling into the charts by coyly slutting it up as a Catholic school girl for "…Baby One More Time" became one of the landmark moments in my love of pop music. Hitching up my school skirt, spunking babysitting money on crop tops and losing my shit when I heard the first bars of that song became a rites of tween to puberty passage. Britney's pop-perfect debut LP went on to smash previous records to become the biggest selling album by a teenage solo artist and her fifteen year career has seen her shift over 100 million records worldwide.Read the rest of the article here…
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO…JEWISH RAPA couple of weeks back we became fascinated with Jewish rapper Lil Dicky's “All K” video - as in, all kike – which twists the ideology of rap videos by completely toeing the line of convention, but referencing kaballah, challa and generally, playing around with the semantics of Semitics.Read the rest of the article here…
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO…LIL KIMRemember when Lil Kim was a thing? CORRECTION, IDIOTS, LIL KIM IS FOREVER. While, yeah, you had your Queen Latifahs and your MC Lytes holding it down for the females in the rap game, it was when Kimberly Denise Jones rolled into the music industry that we got a breath of fresh…okay, maybe not fresh but heavy with dark musk perfume and pheromones air. She thrusted her way into the male dominated hip-hop consciousness, while rhyming about cunninglingus and wearing high leg thongs. What's not to admire?
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO…PRINCEThe first time I ever listened to Prince I was dancing naked in a hotel bathroom, feeling like the finest little lady to walk this earth, the Gods of iTunes shuffle had thrown something undeniably majestic my way and I knew my hip thrusts would never be the same. My virginal ears were no match for his his sweet promises, moans and whispers, that sounded like they were riding on the backs of otherwordly cherubs…sexy, sexy cherubs. I just had to be his "Little Red Corvette".Read the rest of the article here…
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO…SEX MUSICMusic and sex go hand in hand. Without some sort of decibel-based entertainment, a would-be fuck meet can easily turn into an awkward five minutes of in ear groaning and snake eyes. I’ve ruined far too many potential sex sessions by walking down the complete wrong audio concourse. Vibes can easily be ruined, dates turning from DTF to fucking the fuck off, by putting on a disfigured track choice.Read the rest of the article here…
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO…MARIAH CAREYMariah Carey; light of my life, soundtrack to my shower-singing and the first person I learnt that thing where you hoik up your bra with a hair tie to make your cans look huge. I first fell in love with Mariah when everyone else was creaming themselves over the Spice Girls, like, shaking and crying in LOVE with them, not in a "That's so 90s! I'm going to re-post it on my tumblr!" way. But in reality, deep down I thought they were a bunch of clown-whores in stupid shoes that couldn't sing. Nevertheless, I continued to point-and-pout in the playground with my pals, as if idolising Vicky from up the road in Watford was a thing I actually wanted to do.
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO…NARDWUAR ETIQUETTEI was going to go outside today, I had things to do and people to see - yet here I am again; four hours deep into a Nardwuar binge that looks set to go the distance. Do I feel a sense of shame? Yes, but not entirely, as many good men and women have been lost down the Nardwuar rabbit hole, where one video leads to another and minutes blend into days. It’s a world where Henry Rollins, Carly Rae Jepsen and Young Jeezy all share a space, the only constant being our tartan-clad Canuck hero and his time capsule of old records and plastic-entombed memorabilia.Read the rest of the article here…
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO…AALIYAHWhat were you doing when you were fifteen? I was busy sewing rolled up socks into my bra and spending hours carefully selecting song lyrics to put as my MSN screen name. What was Aaliyah doing at fifteen? Oh nothing, JUST BEING THE COOLEST R&B SONGSTRESS EVER. Without slutting it up like Britney or pretending to be a soccer mom and a tween at the same time like JoJo, she burst onto the music scene with icy cold debut single "Age Ain't Nothing But A Number" and never looked back.Read the rest of the article here…
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO… Britney SpearsSWEET MOTHER OF DEEP FRIED SQUIRRELS, Britney Spears is fully back in the game with the video for "Work Bitch" and reminding me why I fell in love with this crazy bitch the first time round. I mean, Britney Spears was the first pop princess of my lifetime. As a bored Catholic school girl, Britney steamrolling into the charts by coyly slutting it up as a Catholic school girl for "…Baby One More Time" became one of the landmark moments in my love of pop music. Hitching up my school skirt, spunking babysitting money on crop tops and losing my shit when I heard the first bars of that song became a rites of tween to puberty passage. Britney's pop-perfect debut LP went on to smash previous records to become the biggest selling album by a teenage solo artist and her fifteen year career has seen her shift over 100 million records worldwide.Read the rest of the article here…
THE NOISEY GUIDE TO… LIL KIMRemember when Lil Kim was a thing? CORRECTION, IDIOTS, LIL KIM IS FOREVER. While, yeah, you had your Queen Latifahs and your MC Lytes holding it down for the females in the rap game, it was when Kimberly Denise Jones rolled into the music industry that we got a breath of fresh…okay, maybe not fresh but heavy with dark musk perfume and pheromones air. She thrusted her way into the male dominated hip-hop consciousness, while rhyming about cunninglingus and wearing high leg thongs. What's not to admire?Read the rest of the article here…
