Photo by Darren Robb for GettyEarlier this week, Virgin Money announced that they had teamed up with The Sex Pistols for a series of credit cards themed around the legendary UK punk band. Naturally, this lead to some irate folks crying sell out. It even prompted Esquire to put together a roundup of the least punk things ever. But what things are punk, you might be asking. Good question. As the definitive source of punk, Noisey is glad to give you this list of 50 things that are definitely, 100 percent confirmed PUNK.
Annoncering
Doing Mosh Dances
Uh oh, if you’re brave enough to get into the slam pit, better watch out for stage surfers! See you on the pit!
Dads
via Zazzle.com
Yeah, we know what they say: Punk’s Not Dad. But somebody’s gotta pick you up from the big punk rock concert!
Getting hit with interest rates and late fees? Scr-w off to that!
Purchasing an Expensive, Yet Conservative Wristwatch
Timeless style for timeless punks.
The Misfits Bobblehead
It’s like you’re asking him, “Are The Misfits punk as heck?” and he’s nodding back, “Yes, yes, rock the casbah!”
Victory Records
Good music, good business practices, good times.
Happy Birthday!
What could possibly be more punk than calling your best bud to tell ‘em happy birthday!
David
Oh man! It’s David! Everybody loves David.
Working at a Data Recovery Center
Computers break all the time, guys. Help out your community.
Not Needing a Guarantor
What could possibly be better than being fiscally responsible and not dependent? Beats us!
Rules/Authority
The rules are there for a reason, guys! Let’s try to be respectful, okay?
Seinfeld
That bassline? That’s all kinds of punk. Serenity now!
Annoncering
Music (at a Reasonable Volume)
Hey, buddy, we love music as much as the next Joe Punk but not so loud, huh?
Basketball
Nothin’ but net! Nothing’s more punk than winning the big game.
The Adventures of Milo and Otis
Classic film!
Leather Jackets
Lookin’ sharp, punkers!
Nirvana/Kurt Cobain
The ultimate punk! RIP
Buzzfeed Lists
23 hilarious pieces of rebellion we can’t stop clicking on!
Discharge - Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing
It’s impossible to have a conversation about punk without mentioning UK’s Discharge. Though in a way, Discharge transcended punk, breaking free of the traditions that confined them. Their minimalist drumming style was so distinctive and recognizable that future imitators called it “d-beat” as an homage to Discharge. This style would make them progenitors of black metal, thrash metal, grindcore, crustpunk, and every other genre that tried in vain to copy the original. Their 1982 album Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing is a timeless, indisputable classic, the rock upon which all modern anarchist music is based.
Emo
Being honest about your feelings is the punkest thing of all.
Reddit
Lots of cool stuff on there!
The DIY
RIP
There’s nothing more essential to punk than The DIY. You have to be doing DIYing at all times. Make DIY at home, have DIY in the park, do DIY everywhere, man!
Daft Punk
Photo: David Black
This punk duo has been cranking out punk hits since the 70s.
Mark the Evangelist (Latin: Mārcus; Greek: Μᾶρκος; Coptic: Μαρκοϲ; Hebrew: מרקוס) is the traditionally ascribed author of the Gospel of Mark. Mark is said to have founded the Church of Alexandria, one of the most important episcopal sees of Early Christianity. His feast day is celebrated on April 25, and his symbol is the winged lion.[2]
Voting
Screw the government! Go out and elect representatives who are going to thoughtfully weigh the issues and enact reasonable laws.
School/Teachers
They have so much to teach us about the world. An educated punk is a dangerous punk. Knowledge is power.
George W. Bush
He brought democracy to the Middle East. Pretty punk if you ask us. Up the punx, Mr. President!
Google
Siri, what is punk… I’m feeling lucky!
CM Punk
He likes H2O, AND he has a lot of tattoos!
Jared Leto as The Joker
Why so serious?
Calvin Peeing on Stuff
This little rapscallion’s always up to trouble! Couldn’t be more punk if he tried.