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You're No Longer Allowed to Bet on Taylor Swift's Relationships in China

A sad day for the professional sport of gambling.

Congratulations Max and Kenya!!

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Jun 4, 2016 at 5:33pm PDT

It used to be that making bets on whether or not a celebrity's relationship would go down in flames was a solid investment in today's tumultuous global economy. For a brief, golden age in China's largest online marketplace, Taobao, the market for "insurance policies" on Taylor Swift's relationships—essentially bets—was booming, as China's Xinhua reports, via The Hollywood Reporter. But as of Wednesday, the market has been shut down. Searches for bets of this nature were met with the message, "According to laws and regulations, what you have searched for cannot be displayed."

According to Xinhua, the "insurance" policies were a subterfuge for gambling, allowing customers to put money down as a speculation on current events, such as the longevity of Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston's relationship. Gambling is illegal in China apart from sanctioned lotteries.

"These stars break up all the time which gives us the opportunity to earn a lot of money!" a customer identified as Xiaoting told Xinhua.

The insurance policies expanded past Swift-related goings-on to include speculation on the longevity of Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom's relationship, the US presidential election, and the possibility of Patrick Stewart suddenly growing hair for the next X-Men film. Hopefully one day in a Swiftian-society, all aspects of our infrastructure and way of life will revolve around the actions and choices of the Swift-Hiddleston offspring, allowing us all to make a living on what a Swift chooses to wear on a given day. Until then, these are dark days for the Taylor Swift relationship insurance industry.

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