You’d think that musicians would be content. Sure, there’s the whole tortured soul aspect of being a recording artist, but I think I’d get tired, being disconcerted 24/7 is a drag. If I was an artist, as soon as an album campaign finished, I’d want to go home and hibernate with David Attenborough's Africa for a month. Yet, it seems musicians aren’t satisfied with getting a knees up.
They’re not satisfied so they keep bloody appearing in films.
KiD CuDi is the latest rapper-cum-actor who, after having issues with, ummm, radio airplay, is reported to have joined the cast of DreamWorks racing movie Need for Speed.
Brooooooom Brooooooom, I can’t WAIT to see CuDi rev his engines! Do you reckon he’ll drive whilst taking tokes of a vaporizer? Will he win an Oscar? Will his performance stand up against the all time great musician cameos? With that said, it might be great. The story line doesn’t sound anything like Fast and Furious at all…really.
Anyway, this got me thinking about other artists that have dipped their toe into acting. Aside from Jamie Foxx (OBVS) are there any other artists who have actually been good? I delved into the world of YouTube - and watched a thousand of those shitty adverts that now come before EVERY video - to find out.
Chris Brown in The OC
Oh, Chris Brown. Remember when he wasn’t known for beating up girls? I’d like to remember C-Breezy as a love struck band geek. Instead of hitting girls, he’d hit the drums, he’d hit the books and I’m pretty sure one time he tapped Kaitlyn's ass. I’d like to believe that Rihanna fell in love with sometimes rapper Breezy because of The OC, because the only way to truly fancy a misogynist is through a thin veil of poorly acted TV drama.
Snoop Dogg in 90210
Snoop is a proper legit actor now. He’s been in Training Day, Starsky and Hutch and Bones! The true turning point for Snoopy though, has to be his cameo in 90210 which proves that American TV drama is the place of dreams. Imagine parking up your Ferrari - imagine having a Ferrari - and finding Snoop D Oh Double G just chilling on the sidewalk. Apparently Snoop is pretty easy game, all it takes is for Dixon to spit a couple bars of "Gin and Juice" and he's inviting him out for a drive around the West Coast.
50 Cent in Get Rich Or Die Trying
Look at Fiddy. This guy is the real fucking deal. The wink at 0:35 seconds spells out gun-touting gangster without needing any words. 50 isn’t after any loose change, he’s after the big bills. If Fiddy came at me in real life with that kind of conviction, I’d probably throw a bottle of Vitamin Water at his face and then run away. It’d probably take him five seconds to realise what had happened and another five for the emotional response to kick in. In short, Fiddy deserves an award for this film having proved that playing yourself is a lot harder than it looks.
Will Smith in Fresh Prince AKA The Most Emotional Scene Ever
I’m not really sure if Will Smith counts. Is he an actor? Is he a rapper? What the fuck is he? I don’t know. But when I was young, BBC 2 was the place to be. They had The Fresh Prince on at 5:30pm and at 6 The Simpsons followed right up. I’d eat fish fingers covered in tomato ketchup and it was a dream come true. Anyway, this is probably the best Will Smith scene ever. Will learned to fight, shave a beard and play ball without a Dad. It should be played in PSHE lessons at secondary school for kids grieving over divorces and absent daddies.
David Bowie in Zoolander
David Bowie's a rapper, right? He can also seemingly crop up in any film, but he really excelled himself in Zoolander. Word is that they’re writing a Zoolander 2, so imagine a remake where instead of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, it’d be Bowie and Sting having fashion walk-off? Yeah, think about that.