Bitch, she's Madonna. But in case you all needed to be reminded that the queen of pop is still as cool as she wants you to think she is, the iconic performer threw herself a Madonna-themed party in the video for "Bitch, I'm Madonna" because that's not desperate at all, right? I mean, look at all the trendy pop-stars and rappers in this video! The proof is in the self-promoting pudding. It's so cute when little girls call themselves bad bitches, right? Pink tips are still pretty cool, right?
The real question is why is she trying this hard? Can't she just listen to herself and realize, bitch, you're MADONNA? You don't need to jump on this ridiculous #squadgoals bandwagon and define your relevency by the company you keep and you certainly don't need Chris Rock to tell you you're Mandonna. Just chill for a second on this relentless re-branding, because the truth is we never left you.
UPDATE: The video has been removed from Youtube because we, unlike Madonna, are not cool enough for Tidal.