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Holy Shit

Going into Battle with Stormzy Is Like Taking a Gun into a Nuclear War

That's the message the MC puts across on his latest track "Scary," which is a looming and chilling missive produced by Sir Spyro.
Ryan Bassil
London, GB

Have you ever tasted concrete before? Unless you're a sentient cement mixer, a misguided and possibly drunk builder, or one of those toddlers who ate worms, then it's unlikely. Light, calm, and readily consumable fast food isn't Stormzy's nature, which is why his latest track "Scary" plunges into your senses with the brutal force of concrete being poured directly into one's oesophagus. Shit is hard.


But not only is Stormzy's proverbial shit hard, Stormzy's proverbial shit is indeed scary. Chilling, in the sense that Sir Spyro's beat is a blood-curdling reinterpretation of a Gregorian chant that seems to have been transported from the space-age, before getting lost in the backstreets of South London. Creepy, as Stormzy imbues the track with a looming sense that, at any moment, he could materialise in your yard with a thousand candles and a scripture that's ascended from hell. But most of all "Scary" is scary, because "Scary" is Stormzy sending warning shots that his alarm only went off five minutes ago and he hasn't even rolled out of bed to start murking properly yet. Until now, he's been working on snooze control. It's about to get heavy.

It's an ideal set-up for the Croydon MC's upcoming and long-awaited debut album. "I'm going away for a bit, when I'm back / Won't be saying my name in their raps", he spits, hand delivering a threatening missive to the collection of dead-out haters who are "looking at Stormz like 'the cunt won't die'." In many ways, the track is a message to listeners who think Stormzy is overrated due to the fact that in the short space of a year or two he's had a single that's been certified silver, got a radio show with Apple, and become arguably the most prominent new artist on the scene. The thing is, as Stormzy raps, "None of these youts got a pen like mine / Did you hear my man's send? I'm dying." He'll big himself up, and par you in the same bar. In fact—and it's made clear in the introduction to the song—going to battle with Stormzy is like taking a gun into a nuclear war.

Listen below: