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Objectively Correct Lists

A Bunch of Things Miguel Is Probably Really Good At

Miguel is the perfect man, so he is probably great at all of this stuff.

Image by Joanne Lee

Building shelves

Tai chi

Making mint tea (his recipe is incredible)

Building fires

Boogie boarding; he always catches the perfect wave, which sprays up around him in a picturesque halo

Meeting your parents

Playing fetch with the dog at your family picnic

Complimenting you on that outfit that you know is dope but because it's pretty simple you didn't think anyone would notice how cool you look


Spotting authentic antiques


Skipping stones

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Grilling meat

Grilling vegetables

Ordering at the bar

Picking out the perfect gift for his girlfriend's mother

Painting walls

Riding a horse

Smoking hookah and blowing smoke rings, although he only does it like once every couple years


Burning sage at the opportune moment

Playing catch with your younger cousin (his mitt is perfectly broken-in, aged leather)

Changing the oil (he drives a vintage convertible)


Licking stamps

Choosing the perfect sundae toppings

Making you feel comfortable before you do mind-expanding drugs together




Making omelettes

Looking at art

Explaining art to you in a way that doesn't make you feel stupid

Minor household maintenance

Having the perfect bottle of aged mezcal to offer his guests at that hour of the night when it's fully dark but there are still several hours before you have to part ways and the night still feels infinite and still and there's a healthy fire burning in the fire pit

Identifying different tree species

Building a deck

Weather-proofing a deck

Making coffee with an air press AND a French press


Knowing when everyone's getting tired and suggesting you leave at the perfect moment

Letting you cry on his shoulder

Changing a flat tire

Decanting wine

Decorating his living room with chairs with a that have a strong design element but are also insanely and unexpectedly comfortable


Identifying constellations

Picking blueberries

Smelling good

Hammering nails

Mowing the lawn (shirtless)

Having a stack of biographies of notable but overlooked historical figures on his bedside table


Knowing about a good secret swimming hole under a waterfall



Kyle Kramer is good at nothing. Follow him on Twitter.