This story is over 5 years old.

Internet Exploring

Kylie Jenner Just Made the Commercial (Music Video?) of the Year

Presenting 'Glosses.'

Ever imagined how awesome it would be to live a life of luxury and wealth yet still want to steal money from other people? Well, imagine no more because Kyle Jenner, sorry, King Kylie has given you a window into your dreams and a music video for your troubles. Or is it a commercial? We're not exactly sure but needless to say this is significant to the culture because Ms. Jenner wants you to purchase the single most important item of the year, Glosses.


For the neanderthal in your home, Glosses, is not only just lip gloss, it's also the next evolutionary step in the spelling of glasses. And what do you need glasses for? To stunt on haters while you're violently punishing those trying to cross you and take your money. Armed with savoury brrrr-ickSQUAD! members, Like, Literally, and So Cute, the four of them take a poor, seemingly intimidating male and throw him through a window with no physical effort. All while banging Kylie's incredible new unnamed track. Can you hold Kylie "down for one night like I got three strikes?" We're just going to avoid that question before we make a tasteless Tyga joke but enjoy the video nonetheless. We promise it's not a waste of three minutes.

Jabbari wants you to know every hyperlink in this post directs you to 'Kylie Cosmetics.' Follow him on Twitter.