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Field Day is This Weekend. Don't Fuck It Up.

Our guide on what to see every minute of Saturday. Why would you listen to anyone else's advice?

af Lev Harris
03 juni 2014, 12:04pm

Photos by Holly Lucas

As usual, Field Day have given us all a massive headache by having a bunch of great acts on at the same time this weekend. So to save you 89p on Boots own-brand paracetamol and countless sleepless nights worrying about the best plan of action, here’s our free guide to having a super great time at this year’s Field Day.

12.00 Volte-Face

Lunchtime nosebleeds from noisy experimental techno are always fun, and if you’ve been following Casper Clark’s Bleed nights and Rinse FM sessions over the past year or so, you’ll know that a box of Kleenex, a strong shot of whisky and a change of underwear are probably the least you’ll need after this.

13.10 Funkineven

Once your eardrums have had the living shit beaten out of them, maybe you think it’s time to wander around a bit and partake in some of the Village Fete-style activities on offer. Right? Right? WRONG. Because Funkineven is on straight after, and his sexy analogue house will bring you right back down to musical equilibrium.

14.30 Only Real

There’s loads of different words to describe a young person who looks like they’re having fun: "scamp", "ragamuffin", "young person having fun". Only Real is all of these things, and that’s why you should watch him play some songs at half two.

15.00 Noisey DJs

Spinning the best in shoegaze, witch house, drill and nu metal (probably), this smorgasbord of b2b DJs from yours truly will truly satisfy every single craving in every single musical taste bud in every single pore of your body. That, or your money back.

16.10 Sophie

After undergoing the musical equivalent of the apocalypse, we realize that you might wanna take some deep breaths, sit down, eat a pie and let your newly expanded musical horizons sink in. But wait, Sophie’s on at 16.10, and his lollipop house will give you the kind of sugary head kick that you won’t have experienced since you were doing lines of rainbow dust during lunch break in year 8.

17.15 Blood Orange

I know the feeling. It's quarter past five, you’re kind of flagging already, you’ve lost your mates and you’ve only got enough money for one more Red Stripe. You just want to sit back, chill out and listen to some smooth, jazzy New Wave New York R&B. Luckily Dev Hynes happens to be playing at that exact time, so why don’t you go see him?

18.15 Jamie xx

Now entering blissful vibes o’clock. Judging by his most recent single “Sleep Sound”, Jamie xx sure knows how to charm the casual music listener. So if you’re trying to think of somewhere romantic to take your Tinder date so you can awkwardly dance and potentially make out for two seconds, then look no further.

19.05 Ryan Hemsworth

The king of internet fanboy J-pop is here. If you thought Jamie xx was the only man who could make you swoon with his machine funk then you’re wrong. Hemsworth’s flair behind the Akai APC20 will have you reaching for those blood covered Kleenex’s from earlier in the day, as you will be crying Pikachu-shaped tears of musical happiness.

21.40 Danny Brown

The sun is setting, the day is winding down, you’ve been cockteased throughout the day with some amazing music, but now it’s time for the big guns. Danny Brown’s last two records (XXX, Old) have been packed with out and out bangers, so if you’re in the mood to get rowdy after some Hemsworth downtime, DB’s got your back.

22.20 Fat White Family

Probably the only act that could match Danny Brown in terms of pure batshit eccentricity and missing teeth are south London reprobates Fat White Family. Channeling the bygone days of British punk, these lads don’t fuck about and their set is guaranteed to end in debauched nudity. Basically, if you want to see some cock, this is the place to be.

Noisey are giving away tickets to Field Day and the chance to watch The Horrors and Fat White Family from side of stage. To enter click here: