You know what’s a lot of fun? Making generalisations about a whole group of people and judging individuals on those assumptions. That’s why institutionalised racists and homophobes are always beaming from ear to ear – because those assumptions make them feel like they’re right, and nothing beats being right. Am I right? I am right.

The same can be said for judging people by their profession. Y’know, like not inviting your brother to your wedding because he’s a lawyer now, or leaving both your children out of your will because they grew up to become estate agents. It’s a hell of a laugh stereotyping individuals for the faults of others and, in my opinion, not something people do enough. So to drag some discontent out of the general public’s souls and incentivise them into hating each other more, we went and asked them a question: What is the least trustworthy profession?    

Lynn, 25: Oh god. I guess a lot of people would say bankers, but I don’t think they’re necessarily untrustworthy. Maybe real estate people because they make shit up just to sell it to you.

Do you know any estate agents?
Not here in London, no. I’m safe here, thank god. I don’t have to put up with their snivelling.

What’s the most trustworthy profession?
I guess a journalist.

Really? Even after the Leveson enquiry?
Well yeah, you’re supposed to be trustworthy.

We are. Don’t you worry about that.

Fergus, 22: Oh, it’s got to be estate agents, doesn’t it? They always seem very dodgy, very untrustworthy – too bloody slick for their own good. Plumbers aren’t great, either. I’ve dealt with a lot of dodgy plumbers who’ve massively overcharged me.

What about the most trustworthy profession?
A shopkeeper, maybe. All their prices are out on display, so the only people they’re fucking up through dodgy business are themselves, really.

What do you do?
I’m a web developer. We’re pretty trustworthy, generally.

Liz, 24 (left) and Abbie, 25.

Abbie: Bankers. Without a shadow of a doubt. The most untrustworthy people in the entire world.

All bankers?
Liz: My dad’s a banker.

Do you trust your dad?
Liz: I think so.
Abbie: I wouldn’t highlight particular individuals, but finance and banking as a profession is definitely the most untrustworthy. HSBC were slapped with record fines today. 2012 – the year of the scandal. I work for a charity and do some ethical finance campaigning, so I know a little about this kind of thing.

Oh yeah? Are you trustworthy?
I’ve never told a lie in my life.

How about you, Liz?
Liz: I don’t think you can make generalisations like that.

Don’t be boring.
Okay. The people who have fucked me over the most are car mechanics. Most people don’t actually know what’s wrong with their car, so it’s very easy for them to take the piss and overcharge.
Abbie: On the other end of the scale, I reckon librarians are the most trustworthy. They’ve gotta be too boring and unimaginative to make things up, right?

Come on, you shouldn’t generalise like that.

Katie, 26: Oh, that’s a tricky one. I can’t decide. But I’d say maybe someone who works in the city – a city boy. Any boy in a suit is generally bad news when you think about it. 

Boys particularly?
Yeah. Boys in suits – nuh uh – I’d stay away from them.

Do you have a boyfriend?
No, but if I did there’s no way he’d wear a suit. It would make me far too uncomfortable.

What do you think is the most trustworthy profession?
Maybe a doctor. I’d like to think we can trust them, but I know someone who knows someone who got raped while she was under anaesthetic by her doctor or surgeon or something.

Wow, dark.

Nick, undisclosed age: Estate agents are so untrustworthy. They want to sell and they want to make commission so they lie and make everything seem wonderful. I’ve always had bad experiences with them.

We’ve had a lot of people say estate agents. Who else are dicks?
I dunno, I reckon most people are trustworthy on the whole. Medical people – doctors, nurses – they’re all trustworthy. And people involved in religion are usually trustworthy, too.

All religions?
No. Just vicars and nuns, I mean. A nun’s a profession, right?

Not really, no.

Previously – What Would Life Be Like with No Internet?