• John Wayne Bobbit Uncut

    JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT UNCUT Remember last year when Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s penis? The news sent a shock wave through the misogynist community like a frickin’ A-bomb. Gigolos

  • This Ain't Star Trek

    God, I fucking hate remakes (both porno and mainstream). It says a lot about the intellect of our Hollywood writers when the best they can come up with is to make G.I. Joe

  • We Yum Yum Cum

    I hate when people speak to their kids in baby talk. It’s annoying. Then people wonder why their kids turn out to be mental midgets with no social grace and an inability to

  • It's Sunny In Brazil

    A bunch of my friends are pro skaters from Brazil and they’re always telling me the craziest stories from their childhoods of murder, drug mules, and prostitution

  • Great Sex During Pregnancy

    Can you do me a favor? Pretend like you didn't see the picture above and when I ask you to guess what my wiener put inside my wife's guts, just say, "I don't know, what?"

  • Live In My Secrets

    I'm working on a new VBS show called Sexy Slumber Party in which I have sexy slumber parties with naked porn stars and we have popcorn and girl talk until they start to cry and tell me how they were abused at a young age and that's what drove...

  • Discovering Alexis Texas

    A year or two ago, Vice sent me around the country to promote my book, Skinema, and one of the stops was in Austin, Texas, at the largest bookstore in the state.

  • Gapeman

    Fuck. Google this DVD and look at the back cover. You can't handle the back cover! It made me want to vomit into my laptop. Dead center there is a photo of what my friends affectionately refer to as a “pink sock.” It’s basically when a girl’s asshole...


  • This Ain't the Munsters XXX

    I don't like scary movies-they scare me. I was seeing a therapist once for it but it all seemed like a big waste of time. I felt like he wasn't listening to me. He was always texting.

  • Cum On My Tattoos 4

    Vice: Hi, boss lady. Joanna Angel: I thought we were going to be able to do this legally

  • Black Power 3

    I've always dreamed of having Black Power because I think it would be awesome to be able to dunk a basketball. When I was younger I could touch the rim but now I'm fat