The Obsessions Issue

  • Indecent Obsessions

    By the time you get to this, you would have already read about how fucking eighties Cut Copy try to be. Don't buy it for a second, Cut Copy may rock a Prophet but they don't always obsess over the eighties.

  • The Me Men

    What the fuck are longhairs, you ask? Longhairs are a bunch of self-obsessed idiots who passionately grow their hair long and talk about it online.

  • Black and White Rappers

    Don't you find it strange that Eminem's been walking around with a doo rag for over five years now and no one's said anything? Well actually, over a year ago, Ray Benzino, owner of The Source, released two freestyles dissing Eminem.

  • The Human Ashtray

    In 1955, when my uncle Larry was in the EIGHTH grade, he saw Rebel Without a Cause. From there on out, he was totally obsessed.

  • Games

    Despite the excellent Manhunt being a game where you play a muscled guy in a vest who gropes other muscled guys in vests in alleyways, nobody has actually pointed out that the whole "stealth" genre may be a training tool/masturbation aid for in...

  • Puking Up Bullshit

    The best art to come out of Mexico never actually existed. It was poignant and beautiful and provided heavy social commentary.

  • Can't Stop

    "If it weren't for us Aspies, all you NTs would still be in caves." Aspies are people with Asperger's Syndrome, a mental disorder that allows its victims to concentrate on one thing, exclusively, forever and ever, hence important technological...

  • Electric Independence

    My part-time-MC/stylist roommate, Miss Matches, has OCD. We like to bring it up at parties and people usually laugh and talk shit, but if these same people were getting five calls a day asking if they left the oven/curling iron/candles on, they wouldn...

  • I'm Going to Graceland Too!

    I know you went to school with a guy that was "totally into Bowie," and there's a 40-year-old in your hometown who hasn't outgrown his Church of the Subgenius phase, but that's preschool stuff.

  • Homosapiens Too

    The earliest caveman (hominid) fossils were found in Aramis, Ethiopia, in 1994. The people who found them dated them back to 4.4 million B.C., but after looking at them more closely they found out the fossils were actually from 5.8 million B.C.

  • Skinema

    White hip-hop multitasker (MC, producer, video director, comedian, etc.) Necro has added another title to his résumé––porn director. And for a first-time porn director, he did okay.

  • Let It Out

    We barf more than any teenage girl could ever dream of.