How many flavors of “dumb” are there? Off the top of my head, let’s see, there’s straightforward dunce, subconsciously compulsive self-hurter, completely self-aware stunt idiot, emotional cripple, literally mute, and complete faker fool putting on airs all the time. And then there’s whatever this type is, the organizers (and future contenders) of The Ultimate Dumbass Competition.
It’s kind of fucking stupid—act dumb making music, and win! Couldn’t we go to any pub in a nearby suburb and have this experience? If you’re going to expend energy to create something, why not make it good? If you have even an ounce of ambition, do you really want to spend it trying to be stupid? What is this, a Diesel ad? So many questions.
But I guess that’s the point. If you’re stupid enough to be interested in this, you might need a bit of time to get your stupid band together. The competition’s August 26 in a grimy warehouse on the South Side of Chicago. If you’re too dumb to figure it out, you’d probably win. And wouldn’t that be an ironic waste of an unfit mind?