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Jamie Taete's Internet Roundup

VICE Staff
Κείμενο VICE Staff
12 Απρίλιος 2011, 10:10am

PROFESSIONAL TEENAGER JARED LETO IN EMBARRASSING VIDEO SHOCKER

I feel I should clarify that I'm not putting this here in some kind of "HOW DARE JARED FUCKING LETO PRETEND TO BE THE UNTOUCHABLE MUSICAL GENIUS THAT WAS KURT COBAIN" way. I think Kurt Cobain was a douche too. There's nothing any more or less embarrassing watching Jared squinting out from behind his perfect little Gwyneth Paltrow haircut and singing in a phony "tortured" voice than there is watching Kurt Cobain do it. I'm putting this here because the combined force of Messrs Leto and Cobain's douchebaggery gives the cringe-muscles a fantastic workout, and I think that's something we all need.

CELEBRITIES OF THE WORLD UNITE

Ferrell! Rogen! Frodo! Black! McBride! Sarandon! Arnett! Schrute! Danson! Buscemi! Poehler! That lady from Blue Velvet with the Charlie Brown mouth! Schwartzman! Dunst!

Ahahaha! John C. Reilly said "word"! But he's old and white! Good one guys.

I guess that, like with Saturday Night Live and Kanye West albums, they were hoping that if they just stuck enough famous people in there you'd be blinded by how shiny they all are and not notice what a disappointing shit-nugget the whole thing is.

FIRST REBBECCA BLACK PARODY DROPS

Just like with Christian music, Christian attempts at trying to go viral on the internet have never really been a threat because well, they just don't really get it. But this? They managed to get a dead on "Friday" parody with lyrics as solid as "Gotta make our minds up/ Which service will we make?" together just ONE MONTH after the original went viral!?!?! Atheism don't stand a chance.

Also, looks like all the excitement of Sunday finally coming around got to be a little too much for the red shirt guy at 2:15 IFYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN. Oh you don't know what I mean? I mean he appears to have an erection.

JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE