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The Hate Issue

Famous People

Famous people hate stuff too.
JJ
Κείμενο Jeff Johnson
1.12.04

SPECIAL LETTERS EXTRA: WHAT DO YOU HATE?

Hello

VICE

,

I detest smoking. I smoked for more than 50 years and finally quit when I had my car accident a few years ago. I was then shocked at how awful everyone smelled when they smoked. In fact, I stopped performing in places that allow smoking and even when I play outdoor concerts, I make sure that no one sitting in the front row is a smoker. It's funny how it never bothered me for so many years and that I insisted on smoking wherever I went. In fact, when the airlines banned smoking, I went to private Lear jets.

ΔΙΑΦΗΜΙΣΗ

George Jones

George Jones is one of country music's legendary rabble-rousers. His greatest-hits collection, 50 Years of Hits, is released this fall.

Dear

VICE

,

I hate it when people throw their cigarette butts in the street. That asinine sense of entitlement is some selfish bullshit and is symbolic of thinking that someone else is responsible for keeping this place a beautiful one to live in. Same goes for gum. Chew it and smoke it all you want, but own your trash. And I hate it when people aren't nice to each other. I shouldn't even say that's what I hate, because I don't hate it. I just really like it when people are nice to each other. And the thing I really love is when people who you expect to be hateful towards each other do the opposite.

Yours,

Anthony

Anthony Kiedis's memoir, Scar Tissue, was released in October. His dad first blew weed smoke in his face when he was four.

VICE

,

I hate the sun. It is too bright. I hate what it brings out in people. Playing Frisbee, wearing shorts. Terrible.

Best,

Fred

Fred Armisen appears weekly on NBC's Saturday Night Live. You may have also seen him as Tino, the jazz flute guy in Anchorman.

Dear

VICE,

I hate sugar, bad food, and rap music with bad lyrics.

Best wishes,

Brian Wilson

Brian Wilson, the visionary leader of the Beach Boys, finally released his lost masterpiece, Smile, last month.

VICE

,

I hate people waking me up to ask me what I hate most! Ahhhhh, fuck it. I hate haters, man. Hatin' ass punks that wanna be me. Fuckin' bitches.

ΔΙΑΦΗΜΙΣΗ

Chingy

Chingy's sophomore CD, Powerballin', is out this fall, and it will be the soundtrack to many high-school kids' sexual mishaps.

Hi

VICE

,

I hate the color brown. I fucking hate wet socks. I hate people when they sneeze sitting next to me on airplanes. I hate the amount of time that I piss away doing nothing. I hate almost every movie that I have ever made. I hate that in America the right to vote is taken for granted. And I hate that having an opinion that might differ from the fucksticks on Capitol Hill is considered unpatriotic. It's the new McCarthyism (which I would have hated had I lived in that time). I hate people who use the words "organic" and "indeed" in a sentence. I hate shaved poontang (don't get me wrong, I will tolerate it, but I just hate it). I hate pleated pants. I hate puking when I'm drunk. I hate when I'm hungover and my tongue feels furry. I hate clever bumper stickers on cars. I hate crowds. I hate intolerant people, and I hate people with too much tolerance. One is full of ignorance, the other is full of shit. Oh hell, I almost forgot, I really hate pantyhose. And with the exception of Vladimir Nabokov and Iceberg Slim, I hate authors who use hundred-dollar words to complete their two-dollar thoughts. I hate the Santa Ana winds. I fucking despise West L.A. I hate people who think their religion is the only real truth. I hate anyone who picks a fight with someone they know they can whip. I hate when people think by fucking someone smart and talented that they themselves miraculously become smart and talented as well. And I hate people who think they are so goddamn smart.

ΔΙΑΦΗΜΙΣΗ

Best,

Johnny

Johnny Knoxville is the inventor of Jackass and he is in movies.

Vice

,

I hate kids today. When I was young, you'd get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you'd be happy. Now you've got kids fucking dying because they're allergic to peanuts! Nothing like that existed back then.

Paul

Paul Bearer sang for Sheer Terror. Now he sings for Joe Coffee.

Dear

VICE

,

I hate Mondays because Mondays mean I can't sleep as much as I can on Sundays. I love to sleep. Monday is the start of the working week and I've never been busier. I'm working on my solo album, which is out next year. Where's my favorite place to sleep? In my bed in my beautiful house in the South of France.

Love,

Siouxsie

Siouxsie Sioux was the first goth chick. She made that whole thing happen.

Dear

VICE

,

I hate when there's no hot water left for my shower. I hate when my internet doesn't work. I hate when people don't say please and thank-you.

Love,

Skye

Skye Sweetnam is poised to be Canada's answer to Avril Lavigne. Wait. That's totally wrong. Her album Songs from the Basement was released in September.

Hello VICE,

I hate dumbness. People have lost their jobs over the past four years voting for Bush, but they're still going to vote for him. He's an asshole. Voting against your own interest is dumb. He's a fuck-up. I got a lot of friends who are fuck-ups, doesn't mean I want them to be President. Hunter S. Thompson Hunter S. Thompson is the author of many books that you like. You can read his column "Hey Rube" at espn.com.

Dear

VICE

ΔΙΑΦΗΜΙΣΗ

,

I hate when people drag their feet. Walk with a purpose, that's what my mother always said. Also when people exit at the front of the bus—that really annoys me. And when people don't practice umbrella etiquette.

Yours truly,

Chloe

Chloe Sevigny is an Academy Award-nominated actress and also a professional cool person.

Dear

VICE

,

I hate mushrooms. They are too slimy.

Sincerely,

Donna Shalala

Donna Shalala was Secretary of Health and Human Services under President Bill Clinton.

Dear

VICE,

I hate unctuous Hollywood agents with nuclear families and Blackberry cell phones who screw artists from their lounge chairs by the pool whilst drinking Sapphires, reading Blender, and fondling their soon-to-be amputated twin cancer-landing sites.

Truly,

Diamanda Galas

Diamanda Galas is a scary singer who influenced everyone from Marilyn Manson to Will Oldham.

Letters gathered by Jeff Johnson