Cry-Baby #1: Erik Schock
Seattle PI via Reddit
The incident: A guy got fired from his job as a teacher because he turned up to work drunk.
The appropriate response: Accepting it.
The actual response: The teacher is suing the school.
Back in February, Erik Schock was working as a physical-education teacher at Chinook Middle School in Bellevue, Washington. Halfway through the school day, the assistant principal noticed that Erik smelled of alcohol, his eyes were bloodshot, and his speech was slow.
He was removed from the school and given a blood alcohol test, which found that his blood alcohol level would have been .15 when he arrived at school 7:30 AM—the legal limit for drivers is .08, which means, toxicology experts say, he would have been "suuuuuuper wasted" in front of his kids.
There was a hearing after the incident, during which Erik did not dispute that he'd been legally drunk while at work (he eventually admitted he had had nine beers the night before), and, unsurprisingly, he was fired.
Terry Lukens, the guy who conducted the hearing, noted that not only did Erik put his students in danger, he was also acting as a poor role model: "It is highly likely that students observed his high level of intoxication, slurred speech, and watery eyes.” Which was a pretty unnecessary thing for him to explain, because nobody on earth would argue that Erik deserved to keep his job.
Except Erik, that is.
Earlier this month, he filed a lawsuit against Bellevue School District, saying they were wrong to fire him. He is claiming that him being drunk at work does not fall under the definition of "flagrant misconduct" as defined by state law.
Which I'm sure is probably some issue with wording that is technically right. But come on, man. Would you even want to go back to that job now?
The case is currently winding its way through the court system. The school district has not yet responded to the lawsuit.
Cry-Baby #2: John Baldwin
The Smoking Gun via Reddit
The incident: Some Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on a guy's door.
The appropriate response: Keeping perfectly still and hoping they don't realize you're home. Or telling them to go away if you have a spine (which I do not).
The actual response: The homeowner shot at the them.
Last Saturday, three Jehovah's Witnesses approached 35-year-old John Baldwin when he was hanging out in his front yard in Centerton, Arkansas.
Apparently John didn't take too kindly to strangers, because according to police, he started shouting at them, telling them, "Get your fucking ass off my property. I moved out here to get away from people like you."
The Jehovah's Witnesses apologized for disturbing him, and started to leave. But as they were walking away, they heard John say, "Get me my nine."
They hurried to their car, and, as they were pulling away, John ran out into the street and started shooting at them with a Springfield XDM handgun.
In addition to hating Jehovah's Witnesses, John is (luckily) also a really poor shot, as none of the 19 bullets he fired hit anyone.
Police arrested him for felony aggravated assault. According to one of the cops who put him in cuffs, he was "very calm" and "seemed very apologetic." He also claimed that he wasn't trying to hit them, and had just fired at them to make them get off his property (which sounds like the kind of thing I would say if I was a really bad shot).
Which of these guys is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this interactive poll down here:
Winner: The psycho girl!!!