It’s time, once again, to marvel at some precious idiots who don’t know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: The President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition.
Videos by VICE
Postal News via Reddit
The incident: The United States Postal Service introduced a series of stamps depicting children being active.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: After receiving complaints that the stamps might be dangerous, the USPS destroyed the entire run.
Pictured above is the new series of stamps that were due to be released by the USPS.
The stamps depict children doing various sporty things like baseball, climbing, and skateboarding. They were designed to try and encourage kids to be more active.
According to one of my all-time favorite news sources, Linn’s Stamp News, USPS marketing chief Nagisa Manabe approached Michelle Obama to take part in a first-day ceremony to promote the stamps.
Because of this, Linn’s Stamp News reports, the stamps were reviewed by the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition.
The council reportedly voiced some concerns with the USPS that the stamps depicted dangerous activities. The council felt the stamps that show children doing a cannonball, skateboarding without protective pads, and doing a headstand without a helmet were dangerous, as children might attempt to copy the super risky behavior.
As a result of these concerns, USPS reportedly decided against releasing the already-printed stamps and will be destroying the entire run instead.
Because if there is one thing that’s cool enough to influence children, it’s a series of pro-fitness postage stamps.
Cry-Baby #2: Weber Middle School
h/t Harry Cheadle / screencap via CBS New York
The incident: Kids had fun.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: Their school banned footballs, baseballs, and a bunch of other fun stuff to stop the kids from having fun.
Earlier this week, officials at Weber Middle School in Port Washington, New York informed students and parents that they are going to ban a bunch of stuff from school property.
Banned items include footballs, baseballs, lacrosse balls, and anything else that school officials decided could be used to hurt someone on school grounds. Games of tag were also banned, as were cartwheels—unless performed under the supervision of a coach.
Instead, kids will be given soft Nerf balls to play with.
Unsurprisingly, students were not super happy with the news. Speaking to CBS New York, one student said that he felt the school had “too many rules and, like, too many regulations and things.” Another student added, “I think we need, like, our soccer balls and footballs and everything, so we can have some fun.”
Port Washington schools superintendent Kathleen Maloney told CBS that the new policy is due to a recent series of playground injuries. “Some of these injuries can unintentionally become very serious, so we want to make sure our children have fun but are also protected,” Kathleen said.
CBS also spoke to an “expert,” Long Island Jewish Medical Center emergency room director Dr. Salvatore Pardo, who told them that he’s seen “head injuries, bumps, scrapes” as a result of children playing without wearing helmets and pads.
According to the school, representatives from several other school districts have gotten in touch with them to talk about the scheme, and they expect other schools to follow suit—soon.
Which of these two kids’ sports-related moaners is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll right here:
Previously: A drunk teacher who’s suing because he got fired vs. A guy who shot at some Jehovah’s Witnesses
Winner: The Jehovah’s Witness guy!!!