Taji's Mahal: Illuminati Radio and McCarren Pool

To kick off this week’s Taji's Mahal, my new column where I tell you about what to do—or rather what I do during the weekends—I would like to introduce you to a radio station called Illuminati Radio.

Every Friday evening from 7 to 11 PM its host [Billy Rohan](http://www.vice.com/epicly-later-d/billy-rohan/ ) broadcasts live from New Town Radio for a sweaty few hours of free-styling, Wu-Tang, 40 ounces, and cigars. The station is located at 260 Meserole St. in Brooklyn, so stop on by, throw on a ninja mask, and go crazy.

Here’s what Billy had to say about his program:

“The reason I started Illuminati Radio was because I thought it would be fun to play the music I like that isn't on the radio nowadays. My friends freestyle poetry over music, and now have a place to showcase their talents. I chose the name Illuminati Radio, because of all the dickhead theorists out there that think the word illuminati has to mean conspiracy. By having guests on the show who are actual Masonic historians, I want to shed some light on the truth behind who the illuminati are, and they are simply the enlightened ones in our society: poets, musicians, actors, artists, and athletes who are truly brilliant in their pursuit. They inspire others. They are not continually living in a nightmare of blaming others for not have everything they want in life. In Harold Hunter's words, ‘Just Do You!’ And in my words, ‘Work for it, don’t wish for it.’”

My last weekend also included a trip to the newly reopened [McCarren Park Pool](http://www.mccarrenpark.com/ )  in Williamsburg, which had been closed since 1984, to see what all the hype was about. The first thing I heard when I rolled up was a large man saying, "That lifeguard was mad young, saying he was gonna escort me out. I’ll whoop his ass!" It seemed about right.

I showed up just in time for the 3 PM hour-long break where they scoop all the Baby Ruths and corpses out of the pool (just kidding… sort of), so I had some time to chat with some of the friendly staff who make sure people don’t drown or kill each other.

I asked what happened with the reported stabbing  and the cops macing people the other week. He responded, "Lifeguard issues, lifeguard issues. If people want to start some shit, they are gonna start some shit. But it's being dealt with, they caught the people and they are locking them up."

There is no doubt about it, regardless of the threat of beatdowns, stabbings, and getting maced by the cops, McCarren Pool is still (ostensibly) the coolest place to be in Brooklyn. People were lined up 45 minutes before it opened to be herded in. Once the pool reaches its 1,500 capacity, the motto is, "As they come out, we let you in. We’re over populated."

The staff must see a lot of dicks because as you leave the locker room, they ask you to "Peel your shorts to the side and spread your towel." They are pretty serious once you enter the pool, yelling, "If you’re going to take a break, take it on the side!" through the megaphone.

Throughout my day at McCarren I kept getting yelled at for taking photos. I asked two of the pool monitors what they thought was the reason behind the anti-photography vibe. They responded: "The perverted, the perverted activity. People are gonna take pictures of perverted shit. I think you used to be able to, but now you can't. There’s a lot of pedophiles and stuff like that, nowadays."

So I guess those pedos ruined it for everyone. Thanks guys. Their last piece of advice to me was to "come early, come with your lock, proper swimming attire, leave your camera at home, and come swim."

Below is a visual overview of my first McCarren Pool experience. If you live close, stop by some time and say hi.

[@redalurk](https://twitter.com/redalurk )