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The First Annual Fiction Issue

Games

This had mixed reviews everywhere but I like it. It’s one of those uncomplicated shooting games that you can play without having to stretch your brain too much.
1.12.06

MADE MAN
Publisher: Mastertronic/Ubisoft
Platform: PS2
Genre: Mafia-related shoot-’em-up This had mixed reviews everywhere but I like it. It’s one of those uncomplicated shooting games that you can play without having to stretch your brain too much. These Tom Clancy games where you have to control about eight different guys all at once may look amazing when somebody else is playing them, but it takes every single cell of your brain to be able to concentrate on making it all work right. With this one you just point the cursor at the dude shooting you and fire. Then you move on. And kill some more. And kill as if it’s your right to kill, as if it’s your facking nature. DOODLY DO TONY HAWK'S PROJECT 8
Publisher: Activision
Platform: Xbox 360 This brings back memories of my first year living in London. I worked on the newsdesk of a music paper working underneath some dragon lady with no sense of humour and a low I.Q. I’d gone from covering murder cases at a newspaper to interviewing the dude from Embrace about his b-sides album in the space of six months and, although I was being paid twice what I got up north, the job seemed a little ridiculous. I soon learned to cope with it though and in no time at all turned into a professional music journalist ie, a cocky piece of shit with a million fake friends. In between talking to 30 music PRs a day about their shitty bands and being bought drinks all night long I started selling weed to all the staffers and developed a cheeky heroin and cocaine habit to go along with my latent alcoholism. During this period, one of my favourite activities was sniffing cocaine and playing Tony Hawk’s 1 all night long with my friends while my live-in girlfriend sobbed herself to sleep in the bedroom next door. There’s something about the click and grind and pop noises on this game that bring that all flooding back. It was a time when life was simple(r) and you could go for 16 days straight with an hour’s sleep a night and still get into work for 10am every day. Back then, the franchise was more game-based but now there’s a trillion little doo-dahs (extra features) in the game, that make it harder to play when it’s really late at night. Being way too old for it is also a factor. Still, it’s probably the best sports game ever made. ALISTAIR CRAPSTICK