When we announced that we were holding a contest to give away a couple pairs of tickets to Yeezus—Kanye West’s first solo tour in nearly five years with Kendrick Lamar as the opening act—we got an overwhelming response that ranged from obscene to desperate. While we do find Kanye memes mildly amusing (especially this one of Kanye looking at himself, which was submitted countless times), we carefully selected the deserving victors based on how personal and original the submissions of the contestants were.
Here are the lucky winners:
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Victoria Wilson a.k.a. @terrifictoria made it plenty clear that she either has too much time on her hands, she really wants these tickets, or she just has too much time on her hands. A couple of her countless submissions—a photoshopped rendition of her hanging onto Yeezus’s legs as he ascends back to heaven, what outfit she’s planning on wearing, and a really hilarious phone case of Kim Kardashian—were enough to put her on the maybe list. But once she made a money sandwich consisting of 26 dollars and her mother’s debit card, it was crystal clear. Like Kanye, she’s out of her damn mind, in the best way possible.
Noah Mintz a.k.a. @noahmomintz is a chill guy. Unlike most contest participators, he has a reputation to maintain and can’t afford to look too desperate in front of his 35 followers. So he only tried to win the contest once. His only submission was a picture of his alleged midterm paper titled Where’s the Trojans?: Kanye West’s Call for Skinhead Reappropriation. No strangers to the internet, our skepticism was strong with this one. Did this kid actually type this shit up and turn it into a professor? What kind of classes is he taking? But more importantly what kind of school does he go to? Our guess is that he probably goes to one of those hippie schools that has a DIY curriculum, a Pinkberry in the cafeteria, and a grading system that consists of various smiley faces. If he is a troll, at least he’s masterful at his craft—he still had to type up a lengthy and legible paragraph and then go to the great paranoid lengths of making his story check out by making the pdf “BLKKK SKKKN HEAD” eight pages long. Either way, this dude is dedicated, and dedication always trumps desperation.
If you’re in a Ferrari or Jaguar, switchin’ four lanes, top down, screaming out “money ain’t a thing,” you can still buy tickets to see Yeezy here.
