Photographic Moratorium is a new regular feature in which we ascend into an ivory tower to deign which photographic clichés should be banished from the internet forever. This week: that picture you took of your girlfriend one morning that you think we should all have to look at.

Let’s face it here, guys, you’re not “sharing a beautiful intimate visual moment” with us, nor are you “portraying a transcendental image of love and freedom through the medium of analogue photography.” You’re just parading your sickening, youthful excitement about getting laid in front of our jaded and bitter eyes.