A Furious Hipster Got Mad About Dalston Superstars

There's been a lot of reaction to Dalston Superstars, our daring docusoap about the young heroes of East London's creative hub. Some people thought it was funny, some people thought it was stupid, stupid people thought it was cool, smart people thought it was a joke, blah blah blah. Lots of people got really angry, though; and none more so than the people who suspected we were mocking them.

Our favorite piece of criticism came in a Facebook rant launched at the show's Australian hippy, Maeve. This is Maeve.

You might remember her as the one who believes in "the power of Jenga" in episode two.

Anyway, one of her Facebook buddies took real offence to the first episode of Dalston Superstars. He got on messenger and began berating her in broken English with a neverending stream of righteous indignation, which we have been slowly plagiarising in the Dalston scripts ever since.

I don't want to cloud your objectivity too much before you read the letter. But bear in mind that this is a grown man shouting at a student just out of her teens for making jokes about fashionable people :(

*We've removed all the names bar Maeve's.

**The transcript starts halfway into the conversation, I assume Maeve has just said something like: "God, why are you being such a tool? I can't believe you hate me so much."

***From here on in, it's pretty much [sic].

The Ranting of a Furious Hipster

Furious Hipster: i dnt hate u i jusy wish u did something positive with your life… considering u basicaly do nothing apart from help out at a mag
but whatever, im sure ull see the light
doing nothing
what do u create
cheap laughs
nothing intelligent
just hindering and hating on people who do shit
thats my thoughts yeah but ull allways get a good reaction from the morons who dont do a thing who look to vice for quidance in their silly lives
i just think that you are doing something pathetic
and then shoving a n advert at the start of it
so morons can scoff at it
its a cheap laugh
and a cheap hit
what do you ever do to support reative people
you rape them
and pretend to be one of US
so you can sell clothes to morons who need guidance
and if you cant see that then you are naive
i know you were filming in sick as well
which means theres another thing im involved with that you are rinsing
its pathetic
and i think its a shame
because you are a cool girl
but you basically are doing nothing for hte world
you just hate
why not fill that time with something positive
support some young local creative people rather then just rinse them out
anyway
im busy
so basically go fuck yourself
and lol
who are you supporting
i mean apart from your sponsers
and advertisers
u dont know why i cant see the joke because you are naive
and stupid
and surrounded by idiots
so basically stop talking to me unless you have something positive to say
or if you want to support me in anyway
rather then just rinse my friends Maeve: Your friends are the only ones that care yeah because they are the ones being rinsed you dick Maeve: ??? no ones being rinsed yeah they are you tit
you are so dumb and so clueless you dont even see it
but whatever
stop talking to me now i have work to do
come back when you have grown a brain and a spine Maeve: ok, have fun turning crosses upside down well thats nothing to do with me
and actually turning crosses upside down means something, allways has and allways will and if you bothered to look into things rather then just taring everybody with the same brish you'd realise that some people do things because they mean them
and some people have been doing things for a long time regarcdless off fashion
and also some people have been creating thing for years
and helping and promoting other people
with NO support from people like you
i also do lots of other things
if you had half a brain youd see that
maybe even show some interest
but you dont
lol
thats the sad thing
you are a fucking small minded idiots
who dont have a clue
or have done
you just htink you do
its so easy to not think and look at something and fob it off
esp when you have such a horrid attitude problem as you lot obviously do
you think you know everything but you dont know sht Maeve: get off your high horse *****, no need to stand on a pedestal this is my fucking city maeve i know every fucking part of it, i know people all over it and i do loads of stuff
ive been making music and art here for years
you just hang around east london hating on people
so yeah forgive me for thinking im on a pedistal
im definately above you
as far as understanding whats going on
and knowing myself Maeve: the world doesnt revolve around you and if you really think that this video will have any impact whatsoever on you or your affiliates then i feel sorry for you how am i or any decent other promoter trying to be cool by putting on parties and doing art? how is *** trying to be cool by doing her thing?
why not make a documentry supporting them and giving them expo like the original MTV idea?
coz its a much better one
of course but it would have had other cool people in it too. and plus it just fuels negativity
why not take that attitude about the mtv one then and try to make something real and positive

……………………………………………………………..

And with that, he was gone. Gone back to his world where Tumblr and gifs are forms of revolutionary self-expression suitable for a man in his 30s.

Merry Christmas, turkey! Here's part three in case you missed it. A Dalston Superstars Christmas special will be here to "hate on people who do shit" on Thursday.