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Dave Mustaine – #1 Twat

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Dave Mustaine is a royal pain in the dick. Megadeth’s “singer” and guitarist has been whining nonstop since 1983, when Metallica kicked him out for being such an obnoxious drunk. Years later, he turned to AA, but found there was not enough God-talk there, so he “cut out the middleman” and went straight to born-again Christianity. Mustaine’s reactionary bronze-age views have since hardened. During a recent interview with LA Weekly, he shared his family planning advice for the whole continent of Africa: “I really think that, if the parents aren’t going to stick together, they shouldn’t make that kind of commitment to life. I watch some of these shows from over in Africa and you’ve got starving women with six kids. Well, how about, you know, put a plug in it? It’s like, you shouldn’t be having children if you can’t feed them.”

Megadeth “No More Mr. Nice Guy”

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One wonders which shows from “over in Africa” Mustaine likes: La Cour Commune? Super Flics? “الفضائيه السودانيه?” But one thing is clear: his views on birth control for African women are sharply at odds with those of his favorite candidate, Rick Santorum. The former Pennsylvania senator believes that birth control is “harmful to women,” and is against abortions even in cases of rape, incest, and their joyous combination. However, it seems possible that forcibly plugging the vaginas of African women could be popular with Santorum’s base as a foreign policy plank.

For his part, Mustaine is against gay marriage (“I’m Christian”) and believes that we are living in the end times prophesied in the Book of Revelation. His thrash band won’t share the stage with blasphemers (METAL AS FUCK!!!). He apparently believes the United Nations was behind 9/11. Some of these might sound like qualities of a Ron Paul man, but apparently Mustaine prefers Santorum’s visceral rage to Dr. Paul’s cracker-barrel analysis. Both candidates oppose the separation of church and state, but where Paul argues that it is unconstitutional, Santorum says it makes him want to throw up “and it should make every American.”

Not that Mustaine has endorsed Santorum. After telling Music Radar he hopes “we’ll see a Republican in the White House… and that it’s Rick Santorum,” and telling the LA Weekly “that’s the guy I want to vote for,” Mustaine “clarified” in Rolling Stone that these carefully parsed statements do not constitute an endorsement. So while Mustaine might publicly announce that he’s voting for Santorum, and that he hopes Santorum wins the election and becomes President of the United States, he in no way endorses the candidate. Straight talk from a man of principle.

Dave Mustaine covers 1992 Democratic National Convention for MTV News

Mustaine appeared on Metallica’s early demos (No Life ‘til Leather, etc.), but they replaced him with Kirk Hammett of Exodus on Kill ‘Em All. As part of the therapy Metallica went through two decades later in the documentary Some Kind of Monster, Mustaine and Lars Ulrich sat down to share feelings, among them Dave’s resentment at being “number two.”

Dave Mustaine and Lars Ulrich in

Is a night cook at Denny’s really supposed to feel bad for Mustaine because he’s in the number two thrash band, much less Lars Ulrich? Mustaine’s success is a remarkable feat, considering he’s also number two on the list of all-time terrible metal singers, hard on the heels of Axl Rose. Since Kirk Hammett is the only sympathetic character in Some Kind of Monster’s parade of insufferable egomaniacs, it’s also remarkable that Mustaine, given so few minutes of screen time, manages to come off as such a twat. But, alas, not the number one twat.

Previously – Pop a Bono