A Christmas Message from Art Hammer

That's Art on the left

When you're buried under an avalanche of commercials for frozen food platters, over-priced perfumes, and terrible TV programming, it's sometimes hard to remember what the spirit of Christmas is all about. To us, the best thing about the festive season is hearing from old friends and finding out how their year has been; kicking back, chewing the fat and offering tender reflection on the challenges that we've overcome and the new days that we face like brave soldiers staring into the night. Why are we talking like this? Well, we just received this heartwarming Christmas poem from our pal from Florida, Art Hammer, who you can watch in this documentary here:

Here's his Christmas message to the world:

The "Swing" Night Before Christmas
by Art Hammer

Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a swinger was swinging
Not even my Spouse

Friends who are hung were with their partners they share
With hopes another Swap Party would soon be near

Our families were nestled all snug in their beds
Visions of sugar-plums danced in THEIR heads,
While fantasies of ORGIES danced in OUR heads;

Hot Mamma dressed in her Red Elf Teddy
She was moist and fidgety, yes she was ready

When out on the lawn their rose such a clatter
Mamma jumped from my lap to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
A full moon glowed on a neighbor so bright
Her breasts were perky & upright that night

Slipping & Sliding through the fresh fallen snow
Her Hubby all giddy because she's a Ho

When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But 8 swing friends loaded with beer

A smile appeared on Mamma so quick
because she knew she'd soon have more dick

More rapid than eagles, to our door they came
They whistled, and shouted, and called us by name;
There were Bobby & Sue, and Mary & Mack,
Ralph & Maria even Gina & Jack

They danced and they pranced on our porch by the door
They were all so horny, they were ready to score

They knew once inside we'd all have a ball
They were eager to get busy, they were climbing the wall

We swung the door open and asked for quiet
Worried the kids would think it's a riot

To the parlor we sent them away in a dash
For soon they would be our first Christmas Bash

Faster than kids can open presents
Our friends were all naked and munching Mamma's snatch
With lights dimmed and music playing
Mouths were busy and asses were swaying

Suzie doing Gina and Maria Mack
From the corner of my eye I see Mamma ridding Jack
From their moans and their groans I knew they'd cum back

On came Jack all over Maria
While Bob & Ralph gave it to Gina

I did Mamma she came with a shout
Even Mary was ready to cum in a spout

The round robin continued till the break of dawn
When I saw Mamma licking Gina's lawn

By then I knew the party should stop
I didn't want Santa to arrive as a Cop

Our friends all tired and ready to go
We thanked them for cuming and melting our snow

They stood in the doorway saying goodbye
With Mamma still horny she started to cry
With endless kindness right there at the door
The guys sprang to attention and gave her some more

And away we all screwed for one last time
Until someone said "Oh Shit its Quarter to Nine"

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But we heard them exclaim, ere they walked out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night"